Odds and Ends, Bits and Pieces, and the Broken Wall
by tigerwolfspellbear
Summary: These are just short bunnies that spawn upon occasion. I've been posting them elsewhere, but decided to add them here too. May contain random OCs. Some swearing. AU.
1. Tommy's Pink Bow

**Disclaimer:** I do not own G.I. Joe. *Checks with the lawyers* Nope, still don't own it.

* * *

_July 26, 2013. This was inspired by twitter. Someone posted a video of Storm Shadow in pink slippers and robe. She said she was imagining him having a pink bow on his head and someone else responded that it sounded like something that would happen if Tommy were playing with his (hypothetical) four-year-old daughter. From there, this was born._

* * *

Tommy walked into the room to find his daughter playing on the floor. She had a jeep with a barbie and ken doll in it. She made it do a three sixty spin and the ken doll flew out, landing near Tommy's feet. He bent down to pick it up. It was dressed like a certain smelly PT instructor he knew. He walked over to his daughter and crouched down so he was at her level.

"Having Aunt Courtney drive Uncle Wayne around again?"

"Un huh."

"You forgot to buckle Uncle Wayne up."

"Oopsie." She held her hand out for her doll and Tommy gave it back to her.

"You be good for Billy, okay?" He said as he ruffled her hair.

"Kay. Daddy?" she said looking up at him from under his hand.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"How come you not whapped up?"

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"Yous said yous was mommy's pwesent."

"I didn't think you heard that."

She snorted, "I heards it. Pwesents have to be whapped."

"I am. The suit is the wrapping." He stood up and spun around slowly so she could see the suit. "Doesn't it look nice?"

The little girl frowned. "But yous gots no bow! Yous has to have a bow." She stood up, went over to the dresser, and pulled out a pink ribbon. She tied it into a bow and then walked over to her father.

He smiled down at her. "I don't need a bow, but thank you."

She tugged on his pant leg. "No! You has to have it."

"Really, sweet-" He stopped when she started pouting and sighed, "Alright."

"Yay!"

Tommy crouched down again and waited for her to put the bow on him. She put it on top of his head and then fussed around with it a little. She stepped back and smiled at him. "Now yous a prowper pwesent!"


	2. For the Love of Coattails

_July 31, 2013. This was inspired by Kusari's drawings of Storm Shadow's coattails as well as her Lil' Billy story and our conversation on twitter about said things causing an obsession with Storm Shadow's coattails. Ohayou is good morning in Japanese._

* * *

"Ohayou, brother," said Storm Shadow as he walked into the dojo.

*Good morn- What is that?*

"What is what?"

Snake Eyes pointed to the bottom of Storm Shadow's coat. Storm Shadow looked down.

"Ahhhh! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!" he screamed as he flapped his coattails. "A little help here, brother!"

*Just kill it, sheesh.*

"I don't want to get blood all over my coat." Storm Shadow had taken it off, fulfilling his contractual obligation to be shirtless. He was shaking the coat as hard as he could to dislodge the fangirl.

Snake Eyes shook his head, rolling his eyes under his visor. He took out his Uzi and shot the fangirl twice. Even in death, the fangirl was still tightly gripping Storm Shadow's coattails.

"Thanks a lot, brother," Storm Shadow said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

*Not like you don't have fifty more in the closet.*


	3. Sabotaged Bunnies

_August 11, 2013. Inspired once again by twitter. The authors hinted at are from here/twitter._

* * *

"Why haven't you updated your story?" tweeted one of my readers.

Another one joined the twitter conversation. "Yeah, please update more!"

"I would, but my bunnies have decided to nap, sorry guys," I responded.

Unbeknownst to the author and her faithful readers, a plot was afoot. It seems certain ninjas were sick and tired of being the subjects of weird stories.

"See, brother, I told you the sedative would work on those damnable plot bunnies."

*Would be easier to just kill them.*

"Why? It's just as easy to do this. Then the authors will eventually forget about the damned things. The only ones that need killing are the bunnies that have us as a couple," Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes both shuddered.

*And the ones that replace Scarlett with an OC,* Snake Eyes added.

"Well, to be fair, part of that _is_ the movie's fault. They think she's with Ripcord or dead, making you available for their twisted fantasies."

*Should go kill those movie writers while we are at it.*

"I don't know, they didn't do too bad with the last movie. We should give them a chance."

*Only because you aren't the bad guy anymore and the actor nailed you to a T.*

Storm Shadow was smirking. "Anyways, I think we can start assigning plot bunny sabotage to the apprentices."

*Don't look now, but there is an author over there trying to feed her funny bunnies carrots to wake them up.*

"The one that has that crack fic about me being a girl? Shit, hurry up and help me get rid of the carrots!" he cried, running towards the sleeping bunnies. They managed to remove the carrots before the bunnies woke up and replaced them with fake carrots filled with more sedative.

*Are you sure we can't just kill them? I mean, you didn't have a problem killing squirrels. We could at least make stew or jerky with rabbits.*

"Yeah, but then the authors might get suspicious if they all start dying off en masse."

Snake Eyes sighed, *Don't look now, but that author just dumped a boatload of bunny feed around several other authors.*

Storm Shadow turned and started running for the feed, grabbing a large bottle of sedative on the way. He poured it all over the feed, kicking some of it up to mix the two together. He threw the bottle away and went back over to Snake Eyes. "How's the wall coming?"

*Beachhead says the greenshirts completed it in record time.*

"Good. What did you say to motivate him?"

*Billy pointed out one of the author's latest ideas on twitter. Pissed him off royally. I tried showing him the fics from the same author, but he likes most of them. Says it has good advice on what not to do with Cover Girl.*

"Whatever it takes. Let's just get that wall in place and then start getting the apprentices to do this. I have more important things to deal with," Storm Shadow said, grinning.

*It's your day off. What is more import- Never mind.*

"What? You'd be doing the same thing if Scarlett wasn't on a mission."


	4. Return of the Bunnies

_August 14, 2013. I was trying to write on Legendary Joes, but was stuck on the Dusty, Deep Six, Cover Girl go to London chapter. I mean, how many ways can you write about people going to the fricken library? This popped into my head while I was researching Wild Bill (WTF). Bleach doesn't belong to me anymore than G.I. Joe does._

* * *

Snake Eyes walked into the dojo to find Storm Shadow meditating. There was a girl nearby, chewing on the end of a pencil and staring at him. Snake Eyes clicked his tongue to get his sword brother's attention.

Storm Shadow scrunched his eyes, keeping them closed. "I'm meditating, Snake Eyes."

Snake Eyes let out a huff and started tapping his foot. Storm Shadow opened an eye and glared.

*You suddenly change your mind and are now letting the fangirls in?*

Storm Shadow opened his other eye and then glanced over at the girl. "It's not a fangirl, it's an author."

*Wait, what?*

"I was checking the bunny traps and heard her crying. Seems none of her bunnies will wake up at all and she can't write."

*That was the point.*

"True, brother, but then she started saying she was going to give up the Joe fandom and start writing about Bleach."

*Bleach?*

"Some sort of anime."

*Ok, so why is she h-e-r-e?*

"Well, she was hugging the sleeping bunnies pathetically and crying. Kept saying 'I don't want to leave you, but if I can't write about my Joe ninjas, I must not love them anymore."

Snake Eyes smacked his forehead with the palm of his head. *I can't believe you fell for that.*

"What, just because I don't want to be chased by rabid fangirls or read crappy or creepy fics doesn't mean I don't want fans. So, I made a deal with her. She can stay here and I will be her inspiration as long as I approve all the fics she writes and she makes sure I get plenty of time with Junko and not some crap OC."

They looked over at the author who was now staring at both of them. She started scribbling frantically in a notebook.

*Please don't tell me she's going to write one of t-h-o-s-e fics.*

Storm Shadow smirked, "No, if you let her, she will write about you and Scarlett, though. She's a big fan of you both being firmly together. No weird business with Duke or me. And again, if she wants to stay here, she has to write stuff that I approve, and she _wants_ to stay here. Very badly. You should see her write when I'm doing katas. The paper should be on fire."

*Have you seen any of her Scarlett fics or any about me?*

"Curious now, brother? I can arrange the same deal for you as for me."

*Maybe.*


	5. The Saga Continues

_August 19, 2013. Another short bunny that popped in my head. Remember, these are just for fun._

* * *

The authoress looked up at the sound of the door closing. Both Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were panting against it. Storm Shadow pushed off, motioning to his brother to follow him and they climbed up into the ceiling. She heard a thunderous noise outside the door, but it passed by and she ignored it in favor of watching the ninjas. Once they were out of sight, she went back to writing.

The thundering noise started coming back, faintly. As it got closer, the authoress could also hear doors being opened and slammed shut again as well as numerous female voices. She scowled as she figured out what it was that had driven HER ninjas into hiding. Fangirls.

She was damned if she was going to let any of them get their grubby, filthy minded idiocies anywhere near her boys. She pulled out her anti-fangirl kit, rummaging around for the heavy cast iron pan and the anti-fangirl spray, before going back to writing. The sounds continued to get louder and when they reached her door, they were deafening. She could hear distinct snippets of conversation and she narrowed her eyes.

"He's just gotta be in this room, it's the last one!"

"I can't wait to catch them both."

"Isn't it awesome that we have a place to put them now? We can watch them and their interactions with each other. I can't wait until they get it on."

"Ewwww, who let this creep in the group?"

"Actually, about half of us want to see two hawt men together."

"What about the other half that don't?"

"Eh, you can leave when it happens. No one's forcing you to stay."

"Yeah right, like I'm going to give up my front row seat for anything."

"I can't wait for the visitations. Storm Shadow is all mine!"

"Nuh uh, he's mine, bitch."

"No, mine!"

The voices came together in a mash of continuous claims on Storm Shadow. The authoress was furious. She knew people like this existed, but honestly, to put the ninjas in a cage like it was an R rated petting zoo? She had never heard of a more insane idea. The very idea of them doing that made her see red. She got up and went over to the door, yanking it open just as one of the fangirls put their hand on the knob.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to work here and your shrill voices are enough to give a deaf person a headache. It's no wonder you can't catch a ninja. They can hear you a mile away."

"Oh, and what do _you_ know about catching ninjas?"

"Not a damned thing, but let me show you what I do know." She started shaking the can of spray and then sprayed the first girl.

"My eyes, oh my god, it burns!"

The authoress was spraying the can over the crowd. Those it hit dropped to the floor, curling up into wailing balls. The can stopped spraying and the authoress shook it again and tried spraying some more, but nothing came out. She swore and threw it at the nearest girl. She started beating another with the cast iron pan while shouting. "They are not your pets! They are not yours at all! They belong to Hama. Snake Eyes belongs with Scarlett, you filthy minded sluts! Storm Shadow is his brother! Bro-ther! What part of that do you not get? They do not exist to fulfill your creepy fantasies!"

The two ninjas poked their head out of the ceiling enough to watch the authoress beating on the horde of fangirls.

*Holy. I mean. She has anger issues, Tommy.*

"Yes, deep... hidden anger issues. I knew you could do that with a pan, but I didn't think I'd actually ever see anyone do that with a pan," Storm Shadow whispered.

*I can't believe we are being defended by an author with a pan. This is ridiculous.*

"You want to go down there and fight them off? Be my guest."

Snake Eyes shuddered, *No, I remember the last time we tried. We both barely survived.*


	6. Bunnies Just Want Pets

_August 19, 2013. Inspired by a request to keep writing about the bunnies._

* * *

Storm Shadow opened the door to the room the authoress used for writing when he went away on missions. He was concerned, since she normally came out as soon as he set foot back in the dojo. He had been back for two days and hadn't seen even a glimpse.

Two bunnies jumped out, assaulting him. They started gnawing at his arms and he grabbed them by the scruffs of their necks in each hand. He kicked the door shut before any more bunnies could escape, but there were several already hopping away. He swore and shook the two bunnies when they tried clawing at him. No wonder the woman always wore such thick clothing. It was a wonder she was still alive if even half of the bunnies he had glimpsed in that room were this vicious!

The door opened back up and the bunnies snatched from his hands. He was tempted to look in there to see how buried she was in the damned things, but not before he had something to fend them off with. He pulled out several of the modified smoke bombs he and Snake Eyes always carried around with them these days. They had filled it with a sleeping gas and usually used them to get away from rabid fangirls when hiding didn't work. Why hiding didn't always work still baffled them both. They were highly trained ninjas. Girls shouldn't have been a problem to hide from. Snake Eyes had the theory that maybe the fan in fangirls gave them some sort of ninja seeking ability.

After the last escapade, he was considering using the authoress instead of the bombs. He wasn't sure if it would be more of a pain to make the bombs constantly or drag her around everywhere. The other consideration was that at best, only the fobbits knew she was there. Hawk might not be so happy having her on his top-secret military base. If he ended up getting rid of her, God only knew what she would write.

He opened the door slightly, just enough to chuck in the bombs and started counting. He opened the door back up and let the fumes escape. Once it was clear, he went in, nearly stepping on a bunny first thing. They were all over the desk, all over her, and some were even stacked up ten bunnies high against the wall. He stepped carefully around some of the ones on the floor.

When he reached the desk, he leaned over to look at what she had written. It was hard reading it upside down, so he pulled the notebook out from underneath her and started flipping through the pages. There were a ton of notes for different ideas and even several pages written out for some of the stories. He pushed a bunny off the desk and it fell with a thump on the floor. He sat on the corner, picking up a pen and started crossing out some of the more ridiculous sounding ideas.

He left when she started waking up, closing the door quietly and coming face to face with a bunny Snake Eyes was holding up.

*You opened the door to Wonderland and let the rabbit escape.*

"How long has she been holed up in there?"

Snake Eyes shrugged. *There are two other bunnies loose. Should find them before someone sees them and asks how they got on base.*

"I know, I know." Storm Shadow opened the door and Snake Eyes threw the bunny in. They both went looking for stray bunnies.

Snake Eyes eventually found one of them nosing at Scarlett's door. It looked up at him with sad eyes and he sighed, before picking it up and petting it. He turned around to return the bunny. It fell asleep along the way.

Tommy was getting frustrated. He swore the damned bunnies must be part of some secret ninja bunny clan as hard as it was to find either of them. He was checking the offices when he finally spotted one, sitting on Beachhead's desk, being petted by none other than the Sergeant Major. He managed to get the bunny away from Beachhead and met Snake Eyes on his way to return it. Snake Eyes had the last bunny in his arms. "Good, so we've found them both. Did anyone see yours?"

Snake Eyes shook his head no.

"Ok, all we have to worry about now is Beachhead. This pain of a bunny was sitting on his desk in full view, being petted by him. I'm not sure how we are going to bribe him."

They arrived at the room and cautiously opened the door. The bunnies were mostly asleep, a few rabid ones clinging to the authoress as she wrote. They both walked in and Tommy set his bunny down.

"We might have a problem. One of them was seen."

"So?"

"You do understand, now that Beachhead knows, he will probably report it to Hawk. You will get thrown off base."

She paused in writing and looked up at him. "Beachhead? Make him a deal."

"What? About you writing stories about him?"

"Well, no. I'm not the right author for him, but I might know someone."


	7. Vampire

_August 19, 2013. Inspired by a trip to the nearby waterfall park and fish hatchery._

* * *

Tommy and the authoress stood on a bridge overlooking a set of waterfalls. "Why did you bring me out here?" the authoress asked.

"You can't just stay cooped up with all those bunnies. You need some sun! You're too pale."

"I like being 'cooped up' and not out here with all these damned bugs," she said, swatting at a cloud of gnats that was coming closer.

"You can't tell me you aren't enjoying the falls. Or the beauty of nature. The roaring of the waters."

"I could YouTube this shit. Nature belongs outside; I belong inside, where I can write. And I thought loud noises bothered your ears?"

Tommy sighed and tapped the earplug he had in his ear. "I'm starting to think you are a vampire."

"I'll let you know when I need blood."

He looked at her in alarm and inched away a little. They stayed on the bridge for a little longer, before walking on the trails again. They were almost back to the beginning, which featured another big waterfall when there was a sudden high-pitched scream.

"Ohmygod! Isn't that Storm Shadow?"

"Really? Where? I don't see him."

"Over there, see!"

"I can't believe it's him. He's really here!"

A group of bikini-clad teenagers started crowding around Storm Shadow, pushing the authoress out of the way. She shrugged and started walking towards the car.

"Hey, a little help here!" he shouted at her, before completely being swarmed by the fangirls.

He felt completely cut off and smothered by fangirls. He struggled to get to the bottom of the pile and then started trying to wiggle out of it. The girls were shrill and squealing in a way that told him they were enjoying his struggles way more than they ought to be. Suddenly they started shrieking in horror and there was light coming from the top of the pile.

The authoress had a bucket and something like a short hose she was using to spray the girls down as if they were unwanted cats on a lawn.

"Who do you think you are you, you hussy?!" screamed one of the girls before rushing the authoress.

She simply swung the hose around and sprayed the charging fangirl. The fan girl continued coming at her and the authoress aimed the bucket at her head. The fangirl ended up tumbling in the dirt and then started whining about how she was all dirty now and ewwww. The authoress continued spraying down the remaining girls and they scattered.

She was about to give Storm Shadow a hand to help him up when she was tackled by the dirty fangirl. They crashed into the side of the concrete wall separating them from the falls. The authoress swung the bucket around, hitting the fangirl, and then sprayed her down again. The fangirl continued screeching and clawing at the authoress. The authoress used the last of the spray and then, having enough of the noise, stood up, pulling the girl up with her and then shoving her over the side of the wall, watching as she crashed down into the shallows.

"Can we go now? It's much safer with the bunnies," she said as Storm Shadow came up to the wall and looked over it.

"Safer for you. I remember the last time I opened the door without throwing in some sleeping bombs first. Damned things nearly chewed my arms off."

"As opposed to having your shirt torn off by rabid girls, half of which are jail bait?"

"Good point. Let's go back."


	8. Bunnies of the Future

_August 21, 2013. This was inspired by a review requesting to see more of Tommy's future daughter. While I was thinking about it, bunnies cropped up and thus, the two have been combined._

* * *

"Daddieee!"

Tommy ran faster, skidding around the corner and damn near mowing down one of the students in the process. He sped up again and reached his daughter's room, shoving the door open so hard enough to cause it to bounce slightly back at him.

"Daddieee!" she screamed again.

"What?! What's the matter?"

"I found a bunny wabbit and I was petting it and it was all nice and soft, but, but then it bit me!" she started crying, holding out her hand.

Tommy walked over and picked her up, sitting her down on her bed. He kneeled down and examined her hand. "This is awfully deep for a rabbit bite. Are you sure it was a rabbit?"

"Un huh. It had a fwuffy tail and bunny ears."

"Where did you get the rabbit?"

"From the basement."

"The basement? I told you not to go down there."

"I didn't," she pouted. "I didn't go down the hole-of-no-return. The bunny hopped up to me. The bunny was cute. Why did it bite me?!"

Tommy sighed, "You've been listening to the students again, haven't you?"

"No," she looked up at him. "Mommy said that."

"Have you ever seen mommy go down the stairs?"

"No, is mommy afwaid? I only ever see you or Unca Snake go down there. Auntie Red doesn't go down there either."

Tommy listened carefully for a moment to make sure the woman in question wasn't anywhere around. "Mommy only sends very bad students down there. Aunt Shana, you really have to stop calling her Auntie Red, but Aunt Shana goes down there when she wants target practice for her crossbow. Mommy isn't afraid, she just doesn't like all those 'damned glorified fictional rodents' in the house."

"Wodents? Are bunnies wodents? And what's a fic- a fictional?"

"No, they are related to rodents, like cousins sort of. Fictional means they are not real. You see, a plot bunny bit you. It is a special kind of bunny that attacks writers usually, but sometimes will also attack other people. Some of them start out harmless, but then might start biting later on."

"What's going to happen to me?"

"We are going to visit Masahide and he is going to clean and dress this wound and then give you a shot."

"I don't wanna shot from the mwean docter!" she cried.

"I know you don't, sweetheart, but it's important to get shots against bunny bites. I'll make you a deal, if you behave for Masahide, then I'll let you use Uncle Kamakura for target practice. I'll even let you borrow mommy's throwing daggers."

"Really! Yay!" She jumped off the bed and started running for the room where Masahide saw his patients. "Are you coming, daddy?" she shouted from the hallway.

"Yes, sweetheart, I'll be right there."

He bent down and reached under the bed, pulling out the bunny from its hiding place by the scruff of its neck. He held it up so it could see his face clearly and scowled. "_You_ go back to the basement. You bite my daughter again and I'll skin you and use your hide to make her a nice fur coat. That goes for the rest of your friends too, understand?"

The bunny quivered, twitching its whiskers. He set it down and it hopped off quickly.


	9. What's in the Basement?

_August 21, 2013. Sequel to 'Bunnies of the Future.' I got two bunnies for the price of one!_

* * *

She was sitting on the top step that led to the hole-of-no-return. Ever since she had found the one bunny, she had been curious. Why did bunnies come from the basement? Why did mommy hate them and why didn't daddy get rid of them if mommy hated them? How come she never had bunny soup if Auntie Red went down there to hunt them? Why were the students afraid of being sent down here? Why did the stupid doctor have special shots for these bunnies? It just didn't make any sense to her.

The door suddenly opened and a woman crawled halfway out. "Snake... name... get... Uzi," she said before being dragged back in, the door slamming shut.

The little girl was wide-eyed. She had seen bunnies in that room. Scary bunnies with glowing red eyes and fangs. She scrambled to stand up and started running. She ran out one of the side doors and then over to where Uncle Snake was teaching students. She stopped a couple feet away from them, panting.

Snake Eyes had heard Tommy's daughter long before she had gotten there. He motioned for one of the students to take his place and went over to her, kneeling down. *What's wrong?*

"There... was... a...

*Stop. Catch your breath.* He waited until she calmed down a little. *Now tell me.*

"There was a wady person who came out of the basement, Unca Snake. But she was drawged back in. Was she one of the bad students mommy sent in? But if she was a student, why did she ask for Unca Snake instead of mommy or daddy?"

*What did she say?*

"Ummm, Snake, name, and... Oh! The big loud gun, the oozie."

*Stay here.*

"I wanna know what's in the basement!"

Snake Eyes shook his head and went to retrieve his Uzi from his room. Once retrieved, he went to the basement. _She_ was waiting for him at the top step.

*I told you to stay put.*

"I wanna see!"

*S-t-a-y h-e-r-e*

She pouted, but didn't move from the step as he went down the stairs. He reached for the door, opening it quickly and sending in a spray of gunfire. The woman inside was on the floor.

"Aim for the ankle biters and watch for the leapers!" she shouted at him. He nodded and started firing at specific bunnies and then, since it hadn't been done in a while, he randomly fired at about half of the remaining bunnies. He noticed he had his own ankle biter hugging his leg. He slid the door shut and she looked up at him.

*Tommy is going to be mad you came down here.*

"Who is that wady person? Does she live here? How come there are so many bunnies?"

He picked her up and she scrambled on his back, hugging his neck. *Ask Tommy, his pet.*

"Is it a magica bunny wady? Is she really a bunny? Why does daddy keep her as a pet?"

*She is a person, like us, except she writes. They are called authors.*

"Why does daddy keep an awthor as a pet? Can you keep people as pets?"

*Ask Tommy when he comes home.*

"I wanna watch the awthor wady," she said, trying to slide down off Snake Eyes. He stopped to let her down.

*Follow.*

They went outside and he showed her to a tiny window that looked into the basement. The authoress was sitting at the desk, bandaging her legs.

"What happened to all the dead bunnies?"

Snake Eyes shrugged and went back to his students.


	10. Who Let the Bunnies Out?

_August 22 2013. Inspired by a question about what happens to canon characters if they get bitten and if they become were-authors. My answer was yes and that the G.I. Joe medics were forced to find a cure when half the base was infected and well, another bunny was spawned. Free internet cookie if you can figure out what OWD means. ^.^_

* * *

Storm Shadow came back from one of his missions to find the base in chaos. The PT course was empty; half of the guards had small notebooks and were writing in them, not paying attention to their surroundings at all. And, was that a bunny he just saw? He turned around and looked again. Yes, yes it was a bunny, gnawing on a greenshirt's ankle. She was trying very hard to ignore it, but her fingers twitched. Storm Shadow continued walking into the motor pool. It was empty except for a cursing Cover Girl surrounded by tools on the ground. She swore again and threw a hammer. He walked past several dead bunnies, shaking his head. As he got into the elevator, a bunny tried attacking him from above. He grabbed it before it could do anything and tossed it out of the elevator before the doors shut.

He kept walking through the base, avoiding bunnies and seeing more soldiers with pens and notebooks. They were completely screwed if Cobra attacked. He reached Hawk's office and knocked. There was no response, so he knocked again. He opened the door after a few minutes and saw notebook paper everywhere. The walls and floor were covered and there were a few pieces of paper hanging from the ceiling. Hawk himself was behind a large stack of notepads, scribbling and covered with bunnies. Storm Shadow backed away and hastily closed the door. He checked some of the other offices. Flint, Duke, Beachhead and even Psyche Out were all holed up, buried in paper and bunnies.

He decided to head down to the infirmary. He stopped at the barricaded glass door and knocked on it. Lifeline came to it in a hazmat suit. There was a bunny clinging to his arm and trying to bite through the suit.

"We are working on a solution, give us more time," he said wearily.

"What happened?"

"No one knows. These weird rabbits started popping up and then people started becoming obsessed with writing. First Snake Eyes, then Scarlett after she tried taking care of him. She is probably the one fighting it off the best so far, but the whole base has pretty much been infected. You should see Doc. Both he and Psyche Out keep asking me to beta research papers, whatever that means. In the mean time, none of the damn cures we come up with work. If I only had the original source!"

"I'll be back," Storm Shadow said, turning around and heading for the dojo. When he opened the dojo door, there was a wall of bunnies. He jumped out of the way, as it started falling towards him and bunnies tried to escape. He sighed and pulled out his ninjato and started slicing his way to the room from which they were spawning. It got easier to move as the dead bunnies faded and disappeared, allowing the remaining bunnies to spread out. Some were much more interested in hopping away, but at least half of them jumped at him, fangs bared.

It took him a while before he was finally able to reach the hidden door and he was ticked. All he really wanted to do was get the debriefing over with and go get some sleep, but no, he had to deal with this crap. He yanked the door open and was surprised to find there was not a single bunny in the room. The authoress was sitting at the desk, staring up at the ceiling while she spun around in the chair. She stopped spinning for a moment, spitting out the end of a well-chewed pencil and reaching for another one.

"Why did you let the bunnies out?" Storm Shadow half growled.

She jumped, falling out of the chair. She looked up at him from the floor, frowning." I didn't let anything out. They just suddenly started dwindling down. I think I need new inspiration. Perhaps I can come with you on your next mission." She started to get up, using the desk to drag herself up.

"No, they have multiplied and are all over the base. I need you to come with me. Apparently the bunny bites are causing OWD."

"OWD?"


	11. Technicolor Dojo

_August 27, 2013. Inspired while I was writing Legendary Joes. Greenshirts without Beachhead, what could possibly go wrong? Carsons is from another fic I have in the works and the other greenshirts start in a random name generator and go from there. So yes, I really did get Calamity from a name generator. Was too good to pass up. And wow, they all ended up with C names. Did not realize that until I got the last one. Just thought they sounded good and that some could make good code names down the line (Up-a-Creek anyone?). __It isn't clear, but Sergeant Whitey, I mean, Storm Shadow has been working for Cobra for a month or two during this._

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Private Carsons asked.

"Of course. I mean, Sergeant Snake Eyes said the dojo needed to be repainted," responded Corporal Calamity.

"I don't think he would approve of these colors, though," Private Creek said softly.

"Oh, come on guys, don't chicken out on us, besides, Corporal C outranks us," said Private Chilson.

"Just because he outranks us doesn't mean he has good ideas. You remember the lemon incident," retorted Carsons.

"Look, we are being helpful. The dojo needs repainting and we are repainting it. If Sergeant Snake Eyes is there, we will ask him about the colors, otherwise, it'll be dealer's choice," Calamity cajoled.

"Fine, but when Sergeant Major comes back and wants to know who did it, I'm blaming you!" squeaked Creek.

They poked their noses into the dojo to find it empty and hauled in the painting supplies, locking the door behind them.

"So, rainbow style right, C-man?" asked Chilson.

"Yup, no one's here to ask, so rainbow style. And everything, mats, mirrors, walls, windows. Paint it all. Do the mats first, that way, when they dry, we can flip 'em over and do the other side. I have something special I'll write on the middle one for Jinx."

"Why paint the windows and the mirrors? That doesn't make much sense," asked Creek.

"What? Didn't hear you, Creek. You really gotta learn to speak up louder," Calamity said, popping open a paint can and pouring out some on the mat.

"What's with the mirrors and windows? I hate feeling like I'm shouting all the time, learn to hear better."

"Cute, you pull that shit with Sergeant Major?"

"Leave her alone, Calamity, and just answer the question. Why the mirrors and windows?" Carsons said, defending the other girl.

"Don't you guys get tired of the instructors always maneuvering us so the sun is in our eyes from either the windows or because it is bouncing off the mirrors?" asked Chilson.

"Yeah, or how about when Scarlett takes a group of girls over to the mirrors to work on forms and then Sergeant Whitey takes off his shirt. How many times has she ended up whacking you because you are distracted by that? I know I get tired of it when they pull the reverse and CG or LJ comes in. No mirrors, no distractions."

"Hmm, he has a good point. Sergeant Scarlett doesn't hold back when she sees you are distracted," pointed out Carsons.

"I like being distracted by Sergeant Storm Shadow! I wonder if he does private shows?" Creek squeaked.

The other three greenshirts stared at her for a second. "God, you are just weird, Creek. Who the hell wants anything to do with Sergeant McPointy?" asked Chilson.

"Well, I wouldn't expect you would be, but Carsons, I know you like looking at him in the mirror. Sergeant Scarlett whacks you the hardest."

"You know that saying, look, but don't touch? That applies to Sergeant Storm Shadow. He's nice to look at. Very nice, but I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole outside of hand to hand. I'd like to stay alive."

"Well, yeah, if you go poking people with ten foot poles, I don't expect they would be very happy. But what man doesn't like a nice massage?"

"The I-have-more-weapons-than-should-be-possible-and-li ke-to-find-creative-uses-for-them kind."

"Can we be done talking about Sergeant Whitey?" asked Calamity.

"Scared?"

"Fuck yeah."


	12. Cherish Your Sword

_August 27, 2013. Twitter's fault again. Someone wanted opinions on a drawing. One of my comments on it was that Snake Eyes without his sword was fine, because it's not like the man is married to it. You see where this is going right? To the guest reviewer that asked if Kamakura gets a say in being target practice. Nope. He should be able to dodge or deflect daggers being thrown by a beginner, even if it is Tommy's daughter._

* * *

You are cordially invited

To the wedding of

Snake Eyes and Katana

Please RSVP

"What the f-"

The invitation was ripped out of Tommy's hands and torn up by a clearly angry Snake Eyes.

"Is there something you forgot to tell me, brother?"

*Greenshirts. Dead. Beachhead can't protect them forever.*

"Has Scarlett seen this?"

Snake Eyes slumped. *Threw things at me.*

"She should know better. It's not like anything she throws will hit you."

*Made her madder.*

"So who's Katana and when do I get to meet her? Do I need to prepare a speech? I assuming I'm the best man. Oh, got to plan a bachelor's party, too."

Tommy smirked while dodging a smack to the back of his head.

*Authoress' fault. Would kill her too if she wasn't your pet. I don't know how you convinced Hawk to let her stay.*

"Well, I got the medics and shrink on my side. Seems the research papers on plot bunnies are being hailed as medical breakthroughs. I may have suggested to Hawk that they are good for target practice and maybe applied some good old fashion blackmail techniques. How is it her fault?"

*Greenshirt had this. Said he took it from her garbage can.* He handed Tommy a piece of paper.

"It's lined out. She wrote it down so it would go away and then crossed it out.

*Need to burn crack bunnies.*

Tommy shook his head, chuckling at his brother as he handed the paper back. "Show that to Red, then maybe she will stop being mad."

Snake Eyes shoved it back. *You show her, she won't even look at me.*

"Fine, here she comes now. Hey Red!" he shouted as she rounded the corner.

She scowled at the sight of Snake Eyes. "What do you want, Storm?" she snapped.

"Come here for a sec. I have something to show you."

She stalked over to him. "What?" she snapped again.

He gave her the crumpled piece of paper. It read:

Snake Eyes marries his sword: one Katana. Invitations, traditional ceremony, the whole bit. Priest "Do you, Snake Eyes, take Katana, to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, for as long as you both shall live?"

"Wait, so this was one of her discarded crackfic ideas?"

"Yeah, we will have to make sure her garbage goes straight to the furnace. Maybe have Jinx start emptying it out instead of greenshirts."


	13. Flying Rabbits

_August 28, 2013. Inspired again, nearly at the same time as the last one, by Kusari-gama 61602. She flings most of these bunnies at me._

* * *

"You called me?" Tommy said as he grabbed a bunny by its ears. He held it up. "Don't even think about biting me. I'll skewer you and serve you over rice."

"Ya, I need a favor. As you can see, they are getting out of control. They aren't even the cute, fluffy, sleepy ones. They're the vicious, little blood-sucking ankle-biters."

"I'll send some greenshirts in to corral a bunch of them for target practice."

"They did that yesterday."

"Yesterday? And you have this many already. Maybe I _should_ skewer a few for lunch."

She snorted. "Ya, well, I learned someone invented a bunny-spawning machine. They are flinging bunnies at me. I mean, I don't mind getting bunnies, but Hawk put a limit on how many bunnies can be in here. You know me, I can't say no to bunnies, so if you could just stop the machine temporarily."

"Temporarily? The damn things spawn faster than the real things."

"Just until I catch up again. Please? I'll write that Junko story you've been wanting."

"Fine, fine, stop begging."

"Good. While you're at it, you can have Snake Eyes or Scarlett come do a bit of target practice in here."

"You sure you want either of them in here? They are still mad after that wedding thing."

Pfft. Wouldn't have been a problem if they would stop beating around the bush and get married already."

"It's not that simple."

"I don't see why not."

Tommy sighed. "Nevermind."


	14. Paperwork Gods

_August 31, 2013. Inspired by the greenshirts themselves. I mean, getting a bunch of new greenshirts that all have the same letter of the start of their last names would be rare as hell, but it could happen. Laws of randomness and all that good stuff. And Norris is named after that famous round housing person. Pity it doesn't do him any good. I don't find this to be all that funny or anything, but it wouldn't leave me alone, so here it is._

* * *

Beachhead looked at the list of names in the latest batch of greenshirts. He then looked at said greenshirts standing in front of him. "Norris!" he barked. "How the hell did you end up with all these Cs?"

"I don't know Sergeant Major, Sir! Was just told to pack up, get on the bus, and be early for PT."

"Maybe the Paperwork Gods decided to make it easy on you, Sir! This way, we all go in the same section in the files," said another greenshirt. Several of the others snickered.

"Firs' off, you can call me Sergeant Major. Save the Sir fer the others. Secondly, since y'all think smart mouthin' to the Sergeant Major is so funny, y'all can drop and give me fifty!"

* * *

The last of the new batch of greenshirts finished introducing himself. "So let me get this straight, we have Calamity - what a loaded name that is - Cantrell, Carsons, Cherry, Chilson, Clayton, Comstock, Corrington, Creek, and Norris. How did we end up with a sea of greenshirts?

Scarlett groaned. Storm Shadow was grinning. "Come on, how could I resist?"

"I don't know, aren't you supposed to be the disciplined ninja master here? Would think you would be able to control that mouth of yours."

"Where's the fun in that, Red?"

She sighed. "Anyway, Sergeant Storm Shadow and I will assess your hand-to-hand skills today," she said, addressing the greenshirts. "Norris, you're up first against Storm."

* * *

"Ugh, I'm just gonna sit here for the rest of eternity. How can these people do this all the time? It's insane!"

"What did you expect, Cherry?"

"I expect to file paperwork, general secretarial duties, basic training, you know, normal stuff! Not to be run into the mud by a permanently pissed off Sergeant Major, tossed on my ass by a I-still-can't-believe-it's-real ninja, or asked by the general himself if I can outshoot him. 'NO, I can't outshoot you, Sir. Do you think I practice much shooting sitting behind a desk, Sir? See, Sir, I told you I couldn't outshoot you.' What kind of crazy place is this? Do they send all the loony-bin people here or something?"

"Well, the best usually have to get that way by thinking outside of the box, you know. I mean, you're here for a reason, right?" asked Creek.

"My previous CO recommended I take this position. Said the general needed someone who could keep their mouth shut about what comes across their desk and could get the work done quickly. He didn't say a damned thing about all of this other shit. I mean, did you hear the ninja?"

"Oh yeah, the whole, 'So you are the general's new secretary, huh? We need to get you in a lot better shape than this' bit? That was great, you should have seen your face," Calamity started laughing.

"Go ahead, laugh it up, Corporal, and we'll see how quickly any of your paperwork gets done."

"Oh, like we should be scared of the tiny fobbit. I'm shaking in my boots," sneered Clayton.

"Tiny fobbit, my ass!" she said, tackling him.

* * *

"Brother! Have you heard yet? Fresh blood," Tommy greeted Snake Eyes as he got out of the tomahawk.

*New greenshirts?*

"Yes, they arrived yesterday, but three are already gone."

Snake Eyes snorted. *So much for screening.*

"Yeah, I think at least one more will go, probably after he gets ground in the dirt. Ace already has a pool going on which of the girls will do it. Greenie made it clear he has a beef with women in the military."

*I should go put money down on Scarlett.*

"You just want to watch."

Snake Eyes nodded.


	15. Halloween

_August 31, 2013. Pure and utter randomness. I was thinking about Joes and holidays and when is the next big holiday? And yes, Storm Shadow now has a greenshirt admirer. And of course, he knows._

* * *

"Cherry!" Creek opened the door, poking her head in. General Hawk was absent, so she stepped in.

"Creek? Why are you wearing rabbit ears and carrying a basket? It's not Easter."

"I thought I'd dress up for Halloween!" Creek squeaked.

"As the Easter rabbit?"

"Well, it's what I could figure would interfere with everything the least. They even made it through Sergeant Major's PT without getting dirty!"

"How did you manage that?"

"I got Sergeant Storm Shadow to wear them! Can you believe it?" she squealed.

Cherry stopped typing up the report to stare at Creek. "Come again?"

"I got Sergeant Storm Shadow to wear the rabbit ears while I did my PT!"

"How on God's green earth did you get him to do that?"

"Well, I asked him if he would hold them. Sergeant Snake Eyes signed that he would hold them because they would look better on him. They started arguing, but Sergeant Snake Eyes was signing too fast and Sergeant Storm Shadow was speaking in Japanese, so I don't know what they were saying, but then Sergeant Storm Shadow snatched them out of my hands and put them on his head and told me to hurry up!"

"Well, damn, there goes my money."

"Huh?"

"A lot of us thought you'd never get the courage up to ask Storm Shadow anything, outside of work. You know Ace, if he can run a betting pool for it, he will."

Creek rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm delivering everyone's favorite candies. I know you like peanut butter and chocolate, so here," she said, setting a package of peanut butter cups on the desk.

"Hey! Thanks. I haven't had these in forever!"

"You're welcome. Uhhmm."

"What is it?"

"Do you think you could help me figure out something to give Sergeant Storm Shadow? I mean, he doesn't like candy, right?"

"Yeah, no. The man is anti-candy, anti-sweets, anti-anything unhealthy. Maybe some fruit?"

"Fruit? Isn't that kind of lame?"

Cherry shrugged. "It's easy to get. Oh, wait! There has been a blueberry shortage, but Roadblock managed to get some fresh ones delivered. They just came in today. I'm not sure what he planned on using them for, but maybe you could convince him somehow to make a batch of blueberry bagels for Storm Shadow."

"Oh, yeah, those are his favorite and it's been months since they've been on the menu. Thanks Cherry."


	16. Please Don't Ping-Pong

_August 31, 2013. Just another off the wall whatever featuring Cherry. My mind was all over the place on that day._

* * *

Cherry walked into the office after her private hand-to-hand lesson with Storm Shadow. She was tired (when wasn't she tired after getting extra ass kickings from supposed ninjas?), but more than ready to sit down and get to work. She sat down at her desk and started on the pile of paperwork for the day. General Hawk walked in a few minutes later, coughing the entire way to his desk. He sat down and continued coughing.

"Sir, if you insist on being here, I must insist you Lysol everything you touch."

"I'm not sick."

"Sir, you look sick, you cough like you are sick, and you've used five tissues in the last minute, spitting out crud." She set a bottle of disinfectant spray on his desk. "I don't want to get sick, Sir, because then we just play this round and around game where it keeps getting ping-ponged between us. And I'd prefer to not get sick at all, let alone two or three times. Use the Lysol."

"I'm not sick."

"Mmmhmm." She walked back to her desk and picked up the phone.

It wasn't very long before Hawk's trashcan was full of tissues. He had hardly gotten anything done. He ignored the disinfectant, glaring at Cherry whenever she sprayed more of it in the air around her. She even had on a surgical mask. God only knew where she had gotten it.

There was a knock on the door and she got up to answer it. She opened the door and Hawk groaned before starting to cough again. Doc came over and saw his overflowing trash.

"So you're not sick, hmmm?"

"No."

"I see. How much work have you been able to get done?"

"None," Cherry said from her desk. Hawk glared at her.

"I'm sure it's just allergies or something. I. Am. Not. Sick."

Doc popped a thermometer in Hawk's ear. "I would accept that, if I didn't already know you don't have allergies. Hmm, 104. No, You aren't sick at all. Come on, it's off to the infirmary with you. I think you might have pneumonia, but I'll need to get an x-ray and a sample of the sputum you're coughing up to be sure."


	17. What Would Ninja Do?

_September 1, 2013. More Cherry antics. This particular bunny keeps spawning more all by itself. Do let me know if she heads for the path of Sue. I'd like to avoid that._

* * *

'What would Storm Shadow do?'

'Talk his way out with attitudy 'I can kick your ass any time' comments.'

'Not helpful, Cris, since you don't come anywhere near the snark master in terms of snark or ass kicking powers. What would Snake Eyes do?'

'Wouldn't have gotten himself captured, _duh_, stupid. Probably overpower his way out with his Uzi. I wish I had that now.'

'Still not helping. Something useful would be nice, self.'

'What about that getting-out-of-restraints trick that they keep trying to teach you?'

'That über painful one? Can I do it without screaming like a baby?'

'No.'

'Still not helpful. Get it together, Cherry!'

'These Cobra idjits are so confident you are useless, they tied you with rope! And you still can't figure it- Oh wait, they only took your guns. They didn't check you for anything else. You still have that shuriken you, uh, borrowed.'

'What do you want to bet, _he_ knows you have it?'

'Does it matter at this point? Use the damn thing to saw through the rope!'

She twisted her hands so she could reach up her sleeve. She remembered when she stole, er borrowed, it from Storm Shadow. It was so shiny! He really liked keeping the things polished to a mirror finish. She had been so proud of herself that she went and sewed special pockets in all of her sleeves for it. She fished it out and was about to start cutting at the ropes, when the door opened. She palmed the shuriken.

"What do we have here?" sneered a female voice as it walked behind her. The woman came around and sat on the table in front of Cherry. Cherry started to saw through the rope and was surprised when it cut through on the first pass. She didn't realize he kept the buggers so fricken sharp, too! She carefully put the shuriken back in its place. The woman didn't seem to notice anything was wrong.

"Seems we've gone caught ourselves Hawk's personal secretary. I bet you know every little secret that passes under his nose. We're gonna have ourselves some fun getting you to tell us all of those juicy tidbits."

"Uh, no, sorry, I don't actually have time to read everything that I have to deal with, so I don't know that much actually."

"And why don't I believe that? Little fobbit like you is sure to be nosy."

"Fobbit?! I'll show you fobbit!" Cherry said, launching herself at the woman. They both crashed on the floor. The other woman tried grabbing one of Cherry's hands and got sharp nails dug into her wrist as a reward. The other hand came in for a slap and Cherry dodged it, sinking her teeth into the woman's hand.

* * *

"I told Hawk she needed someone to keep an eye on her, but nooo. She's a Joe, she can handle herself. She's your secretary and a prime target for Cobra, I told him. But does anyone listen to the ninja? No."

*Did you say something?*

"I told you we were going to have to rescue her!"

*So, no.*

"Brother, stop acting like you can't hear me."

*Tuning you out. Let me know when you say something important.*

"I'm in the mood to go in through the front door. Care to go first?"

*Yes.*

They fought their way through the building, taking out everyone on the first floor and then splitting up. Snake Eyes went upstairs and found it empty. He rejoined Storm Shadow at the bottom of the stairs in the basement. *What are you waiting for?*

"You. You won't believe the things I'm hearing in there. Only two people and they are fighting. Think she actually learned something?"

*Yes.*

"Sometimes you are no fun." Storm Shadow opened the door. They were treated to the sight of an overturned table, a chair in pieces, and two girls rolling around on the floor, one biting the hand of the other. Both ninjas grabbed a woman, trying to separate them.

"Jeeze, Cherry, you're not a pit bull, let go."

"See cawld mmphit."

Storm Shadow sighed. Snake Eyes' head was tilted in confusion. "The F word, brother. The one you're holding called her the F word."

Snake Eyes nodded and they carried the two women up the stairs.

* * *

"So, how did you get free?" Storm Shadow asked Cherry once they had gotten the two women separated.

"Cut the rope."

"With what? Didn't they search you for knives? Not that you carry any."

"Um, I don't want to say."

"Do you really want me to find out on my own?"

"Can I get back to you on that?"

"No. So what did you use?"

She started reaching for her sleeve. "You cut yourself," he said, shaking his head and grabbing her hand to look at it better. "Snake Eyes, hand me the first aid kit."

"I had to hide it! I didn't realize it was so sharp."

"What was so sharp?"

"You already know, I don't know why we are having this conversation," she mumbled, turning her head to the side.

"Of course I know, just waiting for you to say it."

"Dun wanna. Oww! That stings damn it. Warn a person before you put that shit on."

"So, what was it?"

"IT WAS ONE OF YOUR SHURIKEN! OKAY? HAPPY NOW?" she shouted.

"No, warn a person before you shout."


	18. Curiosity, Just Add Boredom

_September 1, 2013. I told you all my mind is wandering everywhere, didn't I? This may be slightly suggestive, I'm not really sure. I'm also going to be preemptive here. No, I don't have plans for Tommy and Cherry getting together. Tommy is just being nosy and as a quasi student of his (remember she gets normal hand-to-hand lessons plus a dose of extra lessons from both Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow) she has figured out certain things, like how much he likes feeding his own ego._

* * *

Tommy spun around in Hawk's chair. "This is boring."

Cherry didn't even bother looking up from the computer. "You can leave as soon as you say it."

"No."

Five minutes later and he was bugging her again. "How do you stand it in here?"

"How do you stand it in the vents for hours on end?"

"I have a question for you."

"The answer is no."

"At least let me ask it first. Are you gay?"

"The answer is still no."

"Did you even listen to the question?"

"Yes, you asked if I was gay. Answer is no. Your next question is going to be about you, isn't it?"

"No." He paused for a minute. "Ok, yes. You know Ace has a pool on if you are or not. Everyone wonders about it because you don't react like all the other girls do. Well, except Scarlett, but she can be forgiven since she has my brother wrapped around her finger. I mean, I do have the best chest and abs in the pit, after all."

"So I can control my drool. What is your point?"

"Yeah, so can Lady Jaye, but I can still hear her heart skip a beat."

Cherry paused in her typing. "One, you don't need more of an ego boost. Two, shouldn't I be getting kudos for fooling the mighty ninja master? Three, it's none of anyone's business.

"So, then it's really a yes."

"No, it's really a no. Perhaps you would like my ex-boyfriends numbers? You can call them and verify."

"Where did you learn to do it then? And why don't you do it for anything else?"

"You say it, and I'll tell you."

Tommy sighed. "Fine, I can't sit here and do paperwork like a normal person. There is something even a ninja master can't do." He smirked and threw in an extra "You are the master of paperwork."

She rolled her eyes. "There are sick bastards everywhere, _Storm Shadow_. I learned to control my... reactions when I'm around men out of necessity."

He snorted. "That's about as informative as sand in the desert."

Then, maybe you should go see Dusty. I'm sure he could tell you just how informative sand is."


	19. Marriage?

_September 2, 2012. A request to delve into the intricacies of one Gaijin and one redheaded she-devil and marriage._

* * *

"I still don't get it," said a confused authoress.

"Look, even if the military wasn't a complication, there are still other things to consider. I mean, Snake Eyes is, at best, barely tolerated by most of the other clans. For him to marry another gaijin, especially one he partially trained is definitely against tradition. If anything, the clans would accept him more if he married someone from another clan.

"But, that would never happen, right? I mean, clan honor and all that? And how can the military be a complication? I mean Lady Jaye and Flint got married!"

"They got married after they were out of the military and then got brought back in. It's a little different. And you're right; another clan would not want one of their daughters to marry Snake Eyes because it would be a slight dishonor."

"So, the other clan's opinions amount to a flying squirrel?"

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. "No, one must be careful when dealing with the other clans. It's important to keep clan wars to a minimum."

"Why would they care if he partially trained her? I mean, you trained Junko."

"Dating your students is... frowned upon."

"But you didn't care! So why should Snake Eyes? Especially if the other clans don't like him?"

"Snake Eyes doesn't care."

"So then why don't they get married already?"

"Snake Eyes is trying to be considerate. He knows it would put me in a difficult position."

"I think it's really because he has a fear of commitment. I mean, he was going to marry Scarlett once and backed out."

"No, they have worked all of that out."

"Then, I still don't get it," she complained.

"Look, they will, just, not right now. It's not a good time."


	20. Set Up

_September 2, 2013. Inspired by Greentigerr in a response to my concern about Cherry heading to Suedom. She suggested not making her the star of the show, not capturing the ninja's attention too much, and referencing other incidents, whether I write about them or not. I decided I needed to write more about the other greenshirts again and that they should try setting up Creek and Storm Shadow (whom Storm Shadow doesn't really have an interest in beyond normal Joe/greenshirt relations and/or antics)._

* * *

"Oh, hey Cherry, want to join in?"

"Carsons! What are you guys up to now? And yes, I want in!"

"We're trying to help Creek. Ever since she asked Sergeant Whitey to hold the rabbit ears, she has avoided him. Even to the point that the Shrink-man is bugging her about if she has a problem with ninjas in general or just Sergeant Whitey. The KP she's had all week is from some sort of incident she had with the Shrink-man," said Chilson.

"It got the brasses' attention, I can tell you that much. The rest of it's classified, though. Patient confidentiality and all that psycho babble," Cherry said sadly.

"You do get to know about all the good stuff up there, don't you?" asked Calamity.

"Yeah, but it means I don't get in on nearly as much of the fun that you guys get into. I've missed the lemon incident, the _second_ lemon incident, the dojo thing, which was brilliant except for the kanji part. Didn't you also paint one of the wolverines and tomahawks too? I thought I saw a report that all greenshirt paint activity must be closely supervised."

"Yeah, but it also means you don't have to scrap paint with plastic butter knives, take a paycheck hit for mats, deal with a very pissed off Cover Girl-"

"That was sexy, dude," commented Chilson.

"Really? I'll make sure you're in the way when she aims low with that wrench next time," retorted Calamity.

Carsons rolled her eyes. "So anyway, we were thinking of setting up Creek and Storm Shadow on a date."

"I still say that is completely boring. We should set it up so Creek has to be rescued by Sergeant Whitey. Much more exciting," said Calamity, rubbing his hands together.

"I think we should try not to traumatize Creek anymore than she is. A nice dinner date, out in town, where none of your crazy ideas will get anyone in trouble," argued Carsons.

* * *

"-and that's how the gate ended up on fire, Sir."

"So let me get this straight, you tried locking Private Creek in a wolverine and having Storm Shadow rescue her, which failed to happen because he was on a mission. I've got an entire motor pool grumbling about having to fabricate parts of said wolverine. Thank God it wasn't Cover Girl's favorite one. I've got half of a PT course that is complete mess because you tried drowning Creek in a mud pit during PT in another hair-brained attempt to get Storm Shadow to rescue her. The mud pit overflowed and before the course could dry, three tanks ended up bogged down on it because for some reason, no one can seem to drive the things right. I hope you don't expect me to keep the four of you alive when Beachhead gets back."

"But, Sir! You need me in the office," Cherry protested.

"Oh, no, Lieutenant, you decided to throw your lot in with the others, you can face the consequences. What else was there?" he asked, flipping through the reports. "Ah, yes, Corporal Calamity and Private Chislon tried glue and as a result, Kamakura and Jinx got stuck together. You just love making Jinx mad, don't you Corporal?"

"Wasn't my aim, Sir."

"If I recall right, that makes it o-for-two."

"Yes, Sir."

"And the reason my gate is on fire is because you trapped Creek in a jeep, before setting it on fire, not counting on the brakes being out on it. It somehow managed to roll down to the gates. You are all fortunate that Creek was able to get herself out of the jeep before she was seriously injured. What I can't believe is the fact that Creek herself is still oblivious to the fact you guys were behind all of this." He shook his head in disappointment. "You are dismissed until I can find a suitable punishment or Beachhead comes back, whichever comes first."

"Sir!" they said, saluting and double-timing it out of the office.

"So, Carsons, plan E?" asked Cherry.

"Definitely, did you get the reservations made?"

"Wait, what's plan E?" asked Chilson.

"I wasn't aware of a plan E," grumbled Calamity.

"They go out on a nice dinner, away from us, using the money Carsons was able to collect," responded Cherry.

"When did Carsons have time to collect money?" asked Chilson.

"I asked Ace if he would get a collection going to get Creek a nice gift. Almost everyone was willing to pitch in, seeing how much torment she's gone through this week. The man is surprisingly nice for a flyboy," said Carsons.

"Well, I still don't see how you are going to get Storm Shadow to agree to go out with Creek," said Calamity.

"Cherry?"

"Yep, already done. Promised to let Snake Eyes know in advance when Hawk is considering him for missions. In exchange, Snake Eyes will goad Storm Shadow into taking Creek out by making it a competition somehow. Not sure how he plans to do that, not sure I want to know. I'm hoping the restaurant we chose will also be incentive for Storm Shadow. Nice healthy, high class, authentic Japanese restaurant."

"Does Creek even like Japanese food?" asked Chilson.

"In this case, I don't think she will care," said Cherry.


	21. Mission: Dinner

_September 3, 2013. Greentigerr requested I write the result of dinner. The bunny jumped up and complied. It occurs to me that someone might be curious as to what Tommy is wearing. My answer is what else would he wear? A white suit of course._

* * *

"Creek! There you are. I have a mission for you; we need to get you ready."

"Mission? Wouldn't Sergeant Major be assigning me a mission? Why are you telling me, Cherry?"

"Sergeant Major wasn't informed of this mission. This is coming straight from the top."

"The general?!" Creek squealed.

"Like I said, straight from the top. Come on, I need to see what's in your closet. Do you have anything dressy?"

They started walking down the hallway. "Uhm, I don't really know. Maybe one or two things?"

"We'll take a look and if you don't have anything, we will check with Carsons. I know she's shorter than you, but I know she has longer dresses and skirts that might work out."

"Carsons is a bit of a clothes horse. What is this mission?"

"It's classified, because we need you to act naturally. I can tell you that you are going to a restaurant."

"But what am I supposed to be doing there? Do I need to be watching for someone or pick up something from a contact?"

"No, you just need to go there and have a good time with your date. Clutch is providing you with a vehicle and directions to get there."

"Wait, I'm not going with anyone? I'm going alone? How do I know who my date is then?" her voice got more shrill as she started panicking.

"Calm down and trust me, you'll know. You won't be able to miss him."

They walked into the room the three girls shared. "Let's see what you have!"

Creek walked to the closet and pulled out two dresses.

"Hmmm, I think the black one is a bit too severe, but this light blue one has possibilities. You have any accessories for it? A belt, jewelry, or some sort of hair accessory?"

"No," Creek squeaked.

"Alright, go get ready and I'll see what I can find." Creek gathered up things for a shower and left. Cherry sat on her bed and thought about what she had that would go with the dress. She had a flower hairpin that would work with Creek's long hair, but the dress still needed something. Cherry was really leaning towards a belt, but all of hers were too big for Creek. She laughed to herself, people always called her tiny or little right before they said the f-word, but in reality, she wasn't. Creek wasn't all that little either, but she tended towards being more willowy than either Cherry or Carsons. She got up to go find Carsons.

* * *

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this, brother. I mean, dinner with rabbit girl? Why?"

*If you don't think you can do it-*

"No, I didn't say that, now did I? Just... why rabbit girl?"

Snake Eyes shrugged.

Storm Shadow pulled into the parking lot at the restaurant. "So you are taking this car back and I get a ride back to the Pit with rabbit girl?"

Snake Eyes gave him the thumbs up.

"At least it looks like a decent place," he sighed, before getting out.

*Let me know if this place is any good. Scarlett wants to find an authentic Japanese place to go to.*

Tommy snorted. "So that's your real motivation. I should have guessed."

*Ninja.*

"Like I don't know that. I'll figure out how they managed to get you to get me to do this."

Snake Eyes shook his head before getting in the driver's seat and driving off.

Tommy went inside the restaurant and the waiter got him seated. He started looking over the menu and nearly whistled at the prices. Those greenshirts were really trying hard this time. He ordered something to drink and told the waiter he would wait until his 'date' arrived before ordering something to eat.

She walked into the door ten minutes later. She looked very confused and as he sipped at his water, he could see her expression change to horror as the waiter guided her to the table. He seated her and tried handing her the menu, setting it down beside her when she didn't move to take it.

"Something the matter?" Tommy asked Creek. He watched as she mouthed words, but nothing came out but a slight squeak, even to his ears. He took a guess at what she was saying. "You want to know what is going on?"

"Yes," she whispered, nodding.

"Seems your fellow greenshirts thought you needed a push. I mean, you have avoided me whenever possible ever since Halloween. You didn't even give me a chance to thank you for convincing Roadblock to make bagels with his precious blueberries."

"I thought you were mad about that," she squeaked.

"If I were mad at you, you wouldn't think it, you'd know it."

"So there isn't a mission?"

"Other than enjoying a free meal on your colleague's dime?" Consider it as them trying to cheer you up after all the... things... you've been through this week."

She picked up the menu and started looking it over. "Do you mind? I mean, I know you probably have better things to do. Weapons to take care of or something and I'll probably ask you enough questions about whatever is on this menu to annoy even a saint." She blushed. "Cherry says you're no saint, regardless of what the brass or I think."

He smirked. "Why would I mind a free meal that promises to be at least semi-healthy? I can always make time for that."


	22. Not My Boyfriend

_September 4, 2013. This popped into my head when I woke up that morning. Part three of the Creek/Storm setup._

* * *

"Plan E has just been completed successfully," Carsons cheered as Billy handed her the camera. He shook his head and muttered "crazy greenshirts," before walking off.

"Let's see the pictures," Cherry said, grabbing the camera. She turned it on, putting it to the review option, and they both looked intently at the screen

"And jus' what is plan E?"

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH," Carsons screamed at the same time Cherry yelled "Holy Shit!" They both turned around and faced Beachhead, saluting stiffly.

"Ah asked you a question. Don't make meh repeat it."

"Plan E is nothing, really, Sergeant Major," Cherry said. Beachhead narrowed his eyes.

"PlanEisStormShadowandCreekgoingouttodinnerandusge ttingpicturesofittoframeforherSir!" Carsons said as quick as she could.

"Ah see. And whut was plan A through D?"

"Uhm, everything that happened to Creek this last week," Carsons answered.

Beachhead didn't say anything for a few minutes. It made both girls nervous, they were used to him shouting at the top of his lungs for everything, not shutting up.

"Carry on," he finally said as he walked away. Both of them resumed breathing.

Once Beachhead was out of hearing range, Cherry spoke up. "God, Carsons, you need to learn to keep your mouth shut."

"Excuse me for wanting to live, Cherry. I mean, by some miracle, he didn't kill us-"

"Yet."

"-for everything that happened to Creek. I don't know how we managed that." Carsons continued.

"Pie."

"What?"

"We live by the grace of pie. One of the senior greenshirts took pity on us and told us we could get away with a lot if we bribed Sergeant Major with pie. Any pie will do, so at worst, we could just buy them, but we lucked out. Seems Chilson's grandmother is a professional pie maker and taught him everything she knows."

"Are you serious? Sergeant Major doesn't have a weakness! Even if he did, it couldn't be something as silly as pie."

"Not kidding. If I lie, ninja strike me down."

"That's a little drastic. You've been hanging out with them too much. I could of just asked Cover Girl."

"Count yourselves lucky. All you got was PT and KP until the end of time. General Hawk decided if I had so much energy to waste with my fellow greenshirts, then I must have more than enough energy for more lessons from the ninjas."

"Then how do you have time for this?"

"Snake Eyes took pity on me. Also, he says he will be doubling fire arms training tomorrow. Apparently, he thinks I should have a specialty. I tried telling him that I already have one, but apparently the Paperwork Master is not a title I should be proud of."

"So weird, anyway, let's keep looking so we can find the best one and have it printed," said Carsons. Cherry lifted the camera back up, but the screen didn't have any pictures on it. "What happened?" asked Carsons.

"I think, I deleted them, god damn it!"

"Let me see it," Carsons said, pulling the camera out of Cherry's hands. "No, look, there is a little email sign here. Looks like you emailed them to 'mom'.

"Oh, good. Is there any way to get them back?"

"I don't know. Creek would."

"It's her camera. She's going to have a cow if she finds out anyone used it besides her."

"Let's just put it back and call it a day, then. I really don't feel like getting into more trouble."

"Agreed."

* * *

Creek checked her email while she was on break. Seems she had a rather large one and she was curious as to what her mother sent her.

'Dear, I think you sent us these pictures by mistake, so I emailed them back to you. I made copies of three of them. You must bring your new boyfriend over when you come to visit. Your father and I are just absolutely can't wait to meet him.

Love,

Mom'

Creek replied back before looking at the attachments.

'Mom, I never sent you any pictures. Where did these all come from?

Cricket'

She opened the attachments and her jaw dropped. She checked the original address they came from. It was from her camera. Someone took pictures of her and Storm Shadow on the date the other night. Someone had used her camera! She was considering taking it down to the labs to have it fingerprinted, when she scrolled down and saw pictures she had taken before and groaned. She quickly wrote another email.

'Mom,

Please tell me you didn't look at all the pictures did you? I haven't gotten them all cleared yet. Which ones did you keep?!

Cricket'

'Dear, stop panicking. I had your father go over them and he was able to tell me which ones would be fine for us. He particularly liked the picture of you and your group with your instructor and then the next one where all of you were scrambling away from him. Says there is nothing like the fear of a PT instructor to get a soldier moving. We kept those two and one of the ones with your boyfriend.

Love,

Mom'

'Mom,

I don't have a boyfriend. You'll be the third to know when I get one.

Cricket'

'Dear, of course not. Still, make sure to bring him by when you visit for the holidays. Let me know if there are any special dishes he likes.

Love,

Mom'

Creek groaned again and made a mental note to definitely get the camera fingerprinted. She was going to have them explain this to her mother!


	23. Delicious

_September 5, 2013. I've been thinking about how I could get Storm Shadow to have to visit Creek's family with her on the holidays. I ended up deciding she should be Jewish, though and couldn't figure out how to work it out, especially since my line of thought on Storm Shadow celebrating holidays is that he might do the regular American ones if he's pressed, but mostly holds to Japanese holidays. I can imagine him getting a gift or two for close friends (Snake Eyes, Stalker, Billy maybe) on Christmas, but otherwise not really celebrating it. So we travel down this path instead._

* * *

Creek set her tray on the table and sat down. She was halfway done eating when the normal rush came in for dinner. Her fellow greenshirts saw her and came over to join her after getting their food.

"You look exhausted, Creek," noted Chilson. She nodded.

"Didn't you just get back from visiting your family?" asked Cherry. Carsons shushed her.

"Oh yeah, how did that go?" asked Calamity. Carsons kicked him under the table. "Ow, what was that for, Carsons?"

"Thanks, Carsons, but might as well get it all over," Creek said, pushing her tray out of the way.

"Was it that bad?" asked Carsons.

Creek groaned and let her head fall to the table. "Mom bombarded me as soon as I walked through the door. She was disappointed I didn't bring 'that delicious looking, nice Asian man' home. At least I finally got it through her head he isn't my boyfriend."

"So, I'm delicious looking?"

All of the greenshirts jumped, Creek's head hitting the table again. "Sergeant Storm!" she squeaked.

"Sheesh, do you have to eavesdrop on every conversation?" asked Cherry.

"Not my fault you talk so loud."

Cherry rolled her eyes.

"Anyways," Creek interrupted them. "I tried to get father to get mom to stop. He just sits there reading his paper and says 'Listen to your mother.' My brother isn't helping either. He got married a couple months ago and they are already expecting. Father is proud because he's starting a family so early in his military career. Says it will help steady him and why can't I be more like him? He's already advanced several ranks and you're still a private. Don't need to advance in ranks to do what I want to do, thanks, dad. Uhhg, next time I'll take Clutch up on his offer for Hanukkah and skip going home."

"What? I'm no longer the object of your fascination? I'm shocked! Just shocked!"

"Sergeant Storm, I didn't say that!"

Tommy pouted before turning around. "Stalker! How are things going?" he asked, walking over to sit with him.

Creek lifted her head and looked up at the ceiling. "Why do you hate me?"


	24. Another Dead Bunny

_September 6, 2013. The idea that Storm uses six point shurikens instead of four is based off CrystalofEllinon's 'Duty as Usual' on ._

* * *

"What do we have here?" Tommy asked as he leaned over the authoress' shoulder.

She jumped and he took the opportunity to grab the notebook and start reading it. She had her hand over her chest above her heart.

"Holy Christ! I thought I was used to you people doing that."

Tommy smirked. "I thought you were working on the Junko story."

The authoress sighed and opened the bottom drawer of the desk. Inside was a bunny. "You know they disappear when they die. This one, though, it's still here, complete with murder weapon."

Tommy leaned over to look at the bunny. He set the notebook down and picked up the bunny. There was a shuriken sticking out of its neck.

"It's dead right? I mean, you don't hear any heartbeat from it?"

"You assume I can hear the heartbeat of this one over the heartbeats of all the other bunnies?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "No, there is no heartbeat coming from it. It's dead." He carefully pulled the shuriken out of it and it disappeared.

"That's... new. Why would the pointy star keep it from disappearing?"

"It's called a shuriken. Say it with me. Shur-i-ken."

"Pointy star of death. Is it one of yours?"

"I'm not sure whose it is. It's a four point shuriken, so it could be Snake Eyes', Kamakura's, or Jinx's. Billy and I use six point shurikens."

"I don't know who would want to kill this bunny. I mean, whoever did it had to go out of their way to open the drawer and kill it. That's where I was keeping it since I wanted to make sure nothing happened to it. I could have just let it free range for all the good it did."


	25. A Snippet

_This was written some time ago and is from another fic I have in the works about an OC ninja (Kichi, who knows nothing about the military). It's on hold because the Legendary Joes bunny demanded to be completed and the bunny went to sleep for ninja lady. It's hard for that bunny to stay awake long. I mentioned before that I had written Carsons before I came up with the rest of the C-team. Pecos is in Texas._

* * *

The elevator door opened up and Snake Eyes walked out. Kichi pushed off the elevator wall and followed. Snake Eyes threaded his way through the various vehicles, stopping behind a woman who was standing by a large rolling toolbox. She handed a wrench to another woman who was under the hood of some sort of tank. Snake Eyes tapped the shoulder of the woman. She shrieked and jumped into the side of the toolbox, making it roll a little. The woman in the tank jumped at the sound of the shrieking, hitting her head on the hood. She backed up, rubbing her head, and glaring.

"God damn it, Snake, quit scaring the fucking greenshirts!"

He shrugged. Kichi stuck her head out around Snake Eyes. "What's a greenshirt?" she asked.

The tank woman jumped. "Son of a bitch, quit multiplying! There are enough damned ninjas around here already."

Snake Eyes looked down at Kichi and then pointed towards one of the jeeps. She looked up at him and nodded. Cover Girl, Snake Eyes, and the greenshirt watched her as she walked over to the passenger side and hopped in.

"New apprentice, Snake?" asked Cover Girl.

He shook his head no.

"Oh, so is that the ninja you brought in? I'm surprised Scarlett isn't pissed at you," she said, grinning.

Snake Eyes slapped his head. *Scarlett knows better unlike the rest of the Pit, apparently. I need you to tell the greenshirt who is trying to become part of the toolbox to drive her to Pecos, drop her off, and remove the blindfold I will put on.*

"Carsons! Stop hugging the toolbox; it won't save you if he decides to kill you." Cover Girl pointed to the jeep. "You're driving her to Pecos and dropping her off. Snake is going to put a blind fold on her. Bring it back."

The greenshirt saluted and ran off to get the keys. Snake Eyes pulled out a blindfold. "Jesus, do you guys hide a kitchen sink on you too?" Cover Girl asked.

*Of course,* he signed. *Ninja.* He went over to Kichi and the jeep. He walked up in front of her and showed her the blindfold. She nodded. He put it on her, tying it snuggly and adjusting it in the front until he thought she couldn't see. The greenshirt came up on the driver's side and got in. He snapped his fingers at her, pointed to Kichi and waved his hands in front of Kichi's face.

"I, uh, I think he wants to know if you can see," the greenshirt said nervously.

"Obviously, I can see black fabric."

"Um, can you see anything else?"

"No."

Snake Eyes stepped back and the greenshirt started the engine. She put it in gear and pulled out of the motorpool cautiously.

"Carsons, step on the gas already! My grandmother could walk faster," Cover Girl shouted behind them.


	26. Pie Pain

_September 15, 2013. Chilson's letter to his grandmother about the pain of teaching others how to make pie. He should stick to his MOS instead of trying to teach, methinks._

* * *

11/30/2013

Babushka,

I have bitten off more than I can chew. My coworkers want to learn how to make pie for a contest. I thought it would be easy to teach them the basics. It wasn't that hard when you taught me! There are just two things to good pie: a good crust and a good filling. I started on the crust first. I remember you always said it was harder to learn to make correctly. The very first day, one of the Sergeants found out and came to bug us. He didn't want to learn at all. Just stood there watching and making snide comments. He kept distracting Creek, like always! I don't know what she sees in him! He doesn't even return her feelings, just uses them to his advantage and she doesn't care. I told you about that stupid dinner two of my other coworkers set her up on with him, right? It just makes me sick!

Anyway, no progress was made at all on the first day. I had to start all over on day two, which was a week later. We have to time things so Sergeant Major doesn't figure it out and we can surprise him. I'll have to tell you about our Christmas present to him in another letter, to make sure it stays a secret. I told you we have super snoopy people here before, right? And gossipy. They would put Aunt Tanya to shame. Can't keep a personal secret around here. You say something and everyone knows within an hour. On day two, I made a lot more progress, but Carsons and Calamity kept forgetting that things have to be kept cold. They finished faster, but then it didn't come out right. I felt like taping it to their foreheads. As expected, Creek got it down. She remembers details well and was ready to learn about filling.

With day three, Carsons and Calamity practiced on their own the few days we had between lessons, so I thought I would step it up and we could move on. No. We were back to the basics on crust. At least this time they remembered the cold part. I ended up taping it everywhere. Creek helped with Carsons, taping it on her mirror, the ceiling above her bed, her closet. At one point, I saw Carsons walking down the hallway with a note on her back that read 'Ask me about cold." I copied Creek and did the same to Calamity. But now, they keep forgetting the vodka. Calamity is the worst of the two. He keeps asking why we have to put vodka in it. Since it was the sixth time he asked, I told him to shut up and do it or I would tape a "Ask me about vodka' note on his shirt. How come this was easy when you taught me? I don't remember you getting frustrated at all. I don't remember arguing with tradition, either, though. By the end of day three, everyone finally had satisfactory crusts at least.

Our fourth day and we finally moved on to filling. Calamity, I tell you Babushka, Lord give me strength to deal with him. He brought a can of pie filling. Can you believe the laziness! I told him canned filling doesn't make good pie. He argued that it saves time. I almost threw the can at him. I taught them all how to make a basic fruit filling. I even opened the can up and had them taste the difference between my filling and the canned. Creek and Carsons both slapped Calamity upside the head when he said he couldn't taste the difference. Cherry popped in for a taste test. She slapped Calamity upside the head too after he tried to convince her that the canned filling was just as good. She isn't learning to make pie since the people she deals with don't care for it, I guess. She's been doing something else though, and it's making her really tired. It's really starting to show and we are all concerned. Creek and Carsons even offered to do some Christmas shopping and she turned them down even after they mentioned some of the jewelry stores they could visit (Cherry really likes jewelry and Carsons likes clothes, I still haven't figured out what Creek likes, besides stupid Sergeants).

We have a couple more practice runs set up so they don't forget what they learned. I also told them to come up with whatever kinds of pies they want to make for the contest that way they can practice those and I can make sure they are at least decent. I'm betting Calamity comes up with more canned pie filling. Maybe I'll arrange it so he says homemade filling and canned filling taste the same when Roadblock is around. He's that gourmet chef I told you about before. Would be funny to see him go off on Calamity.

That's all that I have been up to lately. Still working off punishments from our last pranks, and we want this pie thing to go well, so we have all been behaving. I'll write again soon to let you know how the pie contest goes.

Love,

Adam


	27. Tradition

_September 15, 2013. Inspired directly by the 'Snake Eyes might like pie, but isn't going to be bribed like Beachhead' line of thought. Also, around Christmas time, a lot of people have a tradition of baking, so I decided it would be a family tradition for Cherry and even though she wasn't with family, she would still uphold tradition. As for the mumble, she is saying Sergeant Major can go take a hike. It's a good thing he isn't around and no one can understand what she is saying! And if it wasn't clear, Thursday is her day off._

* * *

"That's enough for today's lesson."

Cherry dropped her stance and bowed, preparing to flee from the dojo as fast as she could without it looking like she was actually fleeing. It seemed like she was getting tossed on her ass more and more lately. At this rate, the bruises would never go away.

"Sit for a minute."

She looked at Storm Shadow in surprise before stiffly sitting down on the mats. He sat down as well, his grace making her stiffness more noticeable to her.

"Do you like the floor?"

"What?"

He sighed. "Do. You. Like. The floor?"

"What kind of question is that? It's a mat. Not all that soft, truth be told."

He rolled his eyes. "Both Snake Eyes and I have noticed you are spending more time on the floor. Have you noticed we have not been teaching you anything new lately?"

"So... it isn't my imagination that my ass is meeting the floor more often?"

He raised an eyebrow. "No, it's not your imagination. The question is why?"

"I know the answer to that. I just need to keep to schedule until Thursday. Things will be better after that."

He frowned. "It may only be two days, but whatever you are doing needs to stop. It's affecting you now. You might not have two days."

"I'll do better tomorrow, but I have to keep to schedule. It's tradition!"

"Tradition may well kill you."

"Okay. Sooo, can I go?"

Storm Shadow shook his head at her attitude and waved his hand at her. "Go, but you _will_ do better tomorrow." She stood up and bowed, walking out quickly. Snake Eyes dropped down from the ceiling. *Kamakura and Jinx are following her now.*

"So we should know by tonight what is going on."

Snake Eyes nodded.

* * *

Cherry was heading to Hawk's office when she heard a bellow coming from another office. She turned around and poked her head through the doorway. "What can I do for you Sergeant Major?"

"Ah need you to take these to Duke, these to Flint, and this here stack to Hawk. Ah also need copies of these," he ordered, pointing to several piles. She walked into the office and gathered the piles up, alternating them so she could keep track. "Anything else, Sergeant Major?"

"No. Now git."

"Yes, Sergeant Major."

She hurried to Flint's office, knocking on the door "Sir, I have a stack of paperwork for you from Sergeant Major."

There was no response, so she put it in the hanging folder next to the door and moved on to Duke's office. His door was open and she knocked on the doorframe to get his attention. He was on the phone and motioned for her to come in.

*Paperwork from Beachhead, Sir.*

He nodded at his desk and she placed the pile there. He then pointed to three labeled trays with their own piles of paper in them. She picked up the three piles. *Anything else, Sir?*

*Coffee, black.*

She nodded and left the office. She got to the office she shared with Hawk, but there was a meeting in progress. She left the paperwork in the hanging folder and went to go fetch Duke's coffee.

* * *

"She didn't even get a chance to sit down until well after nineteen hundred. I talked with Breaker and he says the security cameras show they have been busy up there this week, so she hasn't been getting to the desk until about then. She was done by twenty-one hundred," reported Kamakura.

"After that, she went to her quarters to sleep, but she was up again around one. She was in the kitchen baking until PT," continued Jinx.

Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow both sighed.

* * *

"Cherry! Get up! You're going to be late for PT! Creek squealed.

"Sermmmphajor mmn gm mphke mmmph."

"It's her day off, Creek, leave her be," said Carsons.

"But Sergeant Major-"

"I think a herd of Sergeant Majors could come in here and she wouldn't care right now."

"Alright, but-"

"Come on, let's go."

Carsons opened the door, only to walk right into Snake Eyes, stumbling back. Creek was right behind her and ended up knocked down on her butt. "Carsons!" she hissed.

"S-s-shit! Sorry Snake Eyes!" Carsons stammered.

"He doesn't mind," Storm Shadow said from behind him. Snake Eyes' head turned towards him. "What's your opinion on a herd of ninja masters?" Storm Shadow asked the two girls, grinning hugely.

"I think we need to go before Sergeant Major skewers us for his breakfast. Come on, Creek!"

"Wait, I want a herd of ninja masters!" Creek wailed as Carsons pulled her past the ninjas and down the hall.

"What do you think, brother? Shall we poke her and see if she wakes up?" he dodged Snake Eyes' kick. "Ok, fine, we will just set up the trap as planned. Why do you have to be such a spoilsport all the time?"


	28. The Greenshirts' Gift

_September 24, 2013. The pie contest, which has stewed in the back of my mind for the last few days._

* * *

"I want you to get cleaned up and meet me in the mess hall."

"Sir?"

"Relax, Beachhead, I think you will enjoy yourself greatly. Dismissed."

Beachhead saluted and hurried back to his quarters to get cleaned up. He hoped that whatever else Hawk had in mind for him; he would at least be able to grab something to eat at the mess hall. He had been gone on a weeklong mission and while everything had amazingly gone relatively as planned, he had ended up detouring through a swamp, which had ended up ruining his rations. He was fortunate that it had been the last day, but it meant his stomach was demanding food. He hurried up with his shower, threw on some clean clothes, and grabbed his guns, tucking them away as he strode out the door.

He met Hawk at the mess hall. Hawk waved at him to go through the door first. He walked through and stopped short, taking in the sight. The tables were arranged so that there was one table with three seats near the kitchen and the other tables were pushed together to the sides of the room. The thing that really grabbed his attention was the fact there were pies sitting on top of most of those tables.

"Have a seat Beachhead," Roadblock called from the lone table.

He walked to the table and took the middle seat, with Hawk coming up behind him and taking the last seat. "Whut's goin' on here?" Beachhead asked.

"The greenshirts proposed a pie contest for the holidays. They also thought the perfect Christmas gift for a certain Sergeant Major would be to make him an honorary judge for said pie contest," Hawk said, grinning.

Beachhead's face lit up. "Ah get to eat all this pie?" he asked, gesturing at the other tables.

"Can't judge a pie without eating it first," Roadblock chuckled.

Beachhead stood up. "Whoa, sit back down, man. The cooks have cut small slices out of each pie and assigned them a number. They will serve us and we will discuss what we like or don't like about each pie." Roadblock waved a notebook at Beachhead. "We have seven categories to judge on: fruit, nut, silk/chiffon/cream, savory, other, G.I. Joe themed, and best in show."

Beachhead was still standing. Hawk chuckled. "I think we lost him. Beachhead! Sit down!" Hawk ordered as the cooks started bringing out the first of the entries.


	29. The Results

_September 24, 2013. Well, you didn't expect me to not have any ideas on how the pie contest would end, did you? In Russia, Christmas is a religious event and is celebrated in January. Chilson's family isn't in Russia, they are in America, but they celebrate Russian holidays._

* * *

December 23, 2013

Babushka,

The pie contest was a success. The Sergeant Major enjoyed it, although, I lost the bet that he would be tired of pie. I also lost the bet that he would be so happy with us that he would go easy on us during training. Can you believe the man was out on the training course with pie at six am? He had the staff from the kitchen running pie to him all day yesterday. I've never seen anyone so pie crazy.

I'm disappointed I didn't win best in show, although I did win in the savory and nut categories. I enclosed the ribbons in the envelope. Yes, those are camouflaged ribbons. No, I don't have any idea who came up with the idea or where anyone got them. Just chalk it up to things bored soldiers do, Babushka. Creek won the specialty category. Remember I told you before that Cherry wasn't joining the pie classes? Seems she already knew how to make pie. She ended up winning the silk/chiffon/cream category. It also seems that she has been baking a whole assortment of holiday goods and freezing them, with plans to have them for everyone to eat on Christmas. She exhausted herself doing it and two of her trainers set up a trap for her in her room. She slept both of her days off, though, and Creek and Carsons ended up setting off the trap inadvertently while checking to see if she was still alive. That was three days ago and the girls are still finding popcorn everywhere.

Neither Carsons nor Calamity placed, but at least their pies were edible. For the other categories, a shoofly pie won in the other category. The fruit category came as a complete surprise. Apparently no one knew any of our mechanics could bake. This particular mechanic asked for a date after winning and was promptly kneed by the offended Sergeant. If there is one thing I've learned here, it's beware red-headed, shoofly pie winning Sergeants. If she doesn't get you, her crazy commando boyfriend will. Babushka, I think I'd rather face the Russian mafia you used to tell stories about rather than face either of them when they are mad. The mechanic also won best in show. I didn't get a chance to taste that pie, but I did ask him what he did. He was nice enough to give me the recipe, which I enclosed. Please let me know how it turns out. I'd make it myself, but at this point, I'm as likely to shoot a pie as eat it. Everyone is pretty much pied out except Sergeant Major.

I look forward to seeing the family soon. Finally got approved leave time and will be home in time to celebrate Christmas with everyone.

Love,

Adam


	30. Favorites

_September 22, 2013. I was thinking about who my favorite character is after trying to explain Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes briefly to a beta who knows very little about G.I Joe. It's a tough call. They both have their own special qualities and they are as different as night and day. For me, Storm Shadow wins out, but not by much, and purely because of the snark. I know Snake Eyes can be snarky sometimes, but Storm Shadow has it mastered._

* * *

"Who's your favorite?"

"Favorite what?"

Tommy snorted. "Favorite ninja. Why would I care about anything else?"

The authoress rolled her eyes and continued writing. "My favorite ninja girlfriend is Scarlett."

Tommy frowned. "I said favorite ninja."

"Favorite ninja apprentice is Kamakura."

"I asked you what your favorite ninja was. I didn't ask about ninja apprentices or girlfriends."

"Favorite ninja cousin. Jinx."

Tommy growled. "That's not what I asked."

"You have to be more specific. I mean there are ninja weapons, ninjas with eye patches, mute ninjas, ninja masters-"

"Ninja masters! Which one of us is your favorite ninja master?" Tommy asked, having lost his patience with the authoress.

"It's a tie between the Hard Master and Soft Master."

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. "Who do you like better between living ninja masters. Between me or Snake Eyes."

"Why didn't you say so in the first place? That's really tough to say. I mean, Snake Eyes has the cooler outfit, combines old school ninja with newer techniques, like the Uzi, and came into the ninja game pretty late."

Tommy pouted. "So you like him better."

"Actually, despite wearing pajamas most of the time, the fact that you manage to do the ninja thing in 'I-bet-your-cleaners-just-love-you' pure white is amazing. Your ability to charm anything or cut it down with sarcasm is appealing, and your ability to use purely old school ninja abilities to do the job really makes you both pretty close."

"So which is it?!"

She sighed. "You win out by a fraction."

Tommy grinned before hopping off the desk and leaving, picking up a bunny on his way out.

"Hey, bring that back!" she shouted after him.


	31. And There Will Never Be Any Proof

_September 23, 2013. Bunny that was flung by Kusari. She wanted to see Tommy snuggle with a bunny._

* * *

She scribbled frantically, trying to get her ideas down. She was concerned about the bunny that Tommy had stolen. She didn't mind when the bunnies were culled a little when she was overwhelmed, but lately, they had been slow to spawn. She finished writing and ran out of the room, damn near running herself into Jinx's sword. She was fortunate Jinx was able to sense her and move out of the way, swearing in Japanese as she yanked the blindfold off.

The authoress paused at the door to the dojo. "Where the hell did he go?" A passing greenshirt shrugged and continued walking.

Meanwhile, Tommy finished getting ready for bed. He picked up the bunny from the top of the dresser. "You're a nice, soft, Junko bunny, aren't you?" Tommy asked, hugging the purloined bunny. He laid down on his bed, keeping the bunny held against his chest and rested his chin atop its head. His breathing slowed and he fell asleep.

The bunny twitched it's nose a few times and, deciding it wasn't any worse than sitting on top of a file cabinet, settled down. It didn't have a clue what a Junko was, but it wasn't the first time it had been called strange things.


	32. Imagination

_September 24, 2013. Inspired by twitter and the last story. The twitter discussion derailed from bunnies to M rated subjects. And yeah, this is what sprung from it, because my mind is weird like that._

* * *

*What is she doing?*

Tommy shrugged. "I don't know."

The authoress was in a corner of the dojo, surrounded by a small group of bunnies. She had small carrots she would feed them periodically.

"She's training them," Kamakura said, making a circling motion with his finger near his head.

*Why?*

"Maybe she is bored," Tommy suggested.

The three ninjas shrugged it off. Snake Eyes and Kamakura started training, while Tommy started on a complex kata. The authoress stopped and watched him for a while.

* * *

Tommy walked down the hallway, pausing when he heard multiple small heartbeats. Recognizing them and curious, he continued to his room. He opened the door, leaving it opened enough for the bunnies to leave. He went into the bathroom to take a shower, figuring they would be gone by time he was done. Afterwards, he was slightly annoyed to find they were still there, now sitting on the bed, ears, noses, and tails randomly twitching. He tried making a shooing motion, but they refused to move. There was enough space for him to lie down, so he sighed and gave into the inevitable. They crowded around him after he was under the blankets, a few even hopping on him, settling down and going to sleep. He sighed again and drifted off to sleep himself.

Near morning, one of the bunnies slowly crept up to his head and started nibbling on his ear. He partially woke up and mumbled "Junko" before turning. His hand met fur and his eyes flew open. He was nose-to-nose with a bunny. He groaned. "I really need to ask for a vacation, go back to Japan for a week," he told the bunny. The bunny laid its ears back and tried biting his nose, but he grabbed it by the scruff of its neck. He propped himself up on his elbow, sending bunnies tumbling off. "Just what is that woman teaching you?"


	33. Jump!

_October 5, 2013. I've decided to see if I can take inspiration in writing from songs and their titles. The first one I thought I would try this with is 'Jump!' from Two Steps From Hell. It has this exciting beat for about two and half minutes and then slows down to this kind of sweet melody for half a minute before picking up again. I've had it on all day for the past two days._

* * *

He sliced down, severing the Viper's arm, while he threw shurikens at another. The Viper screamed in pain, but was quickly silenced when another sword stroke sliced through his throat. Storm Shadow threw another few shurikens and then blocked a sword. Some of the Commander's hired ninjas had joined the fray. They weren't the Red Hand, but some other foolish clan the Commander had managed to sway to his side. Ahead of him, Snake Eyes was clearing the Vipers out with his Uzi, making short work of anyone who got near him with his ninjato. They almost had the hallway cleared when another large group of Vipers and ninjas entered the hallway. Storm Shadow grinned at his brother and they both launched themselves at the soon-to-be dead.

"Jeeze, I think they are having too much fun," complained Breaker, watching them on the cameras he had hacked.

Duke looked at the screen, taking a sip of coffee. "Not surprising. They have both been excited ever since they learned there were new ninjas to fight. Doesn't look like they are much of a challenge, though," he said, watching Snake Eyes kick one into the wall and stick a sword through her. He left it and the dead ninja pinned to the wall, shooting into a group of bunched up Vipers. Duke shook his head; their stupidity was astounding.

Snake Eyes grabbed his sword, yanking it out of the wall. He sensed something behind him and stabbed down, pinning the last ninja's arm to their chest. He dodged the sword the ninja swung at him, sliding his ninjato out at the same time and drove it through the other ninja's heart. The ninja collapsed, and Snake Eyes pulled his sword out, flicking the blood off, before looking around. Storm Shadow grinned, walking past him. They both went around the corner and stopped at the door. Storm Shadow pulled out a lock pick from his sleeve and quickly unlocked it.

They opened the door and the woman inside screamed, hunched over her son, trying to protect him. "Mrs. Pennifold, relax, we are here to get you out," Storm Shadow said, trying to calm her. Snake Eyes was behind her, undoing the cuffs on both her and the boy. Storm Shadow tried to keep her distracted. "We will get you both back to your daughter soon. She is quite worried about you both." He held out his hand to help her up and she stood up shakily. Snake Eyes helped up her son.

"Wow, what kind of army people are you? That's some awesome gear. I want to go in the army if I get to dress like that!"

His mother looked up to the ceiling. "God help us all," she mouthed.

Snake Eyes shook his head. *I'm going out first, you can follow with them.*

Storm Shadow snorted. "Look kid-"

"I'm not a kid! I'm a teenager! I'll be fifteen soon!"

Storm Shadow shooed them both out of the room, closing the door behind them. "There are only five of us in the entire army that get to dress like this, kid. What do you think your chances are?"

"I can do anything, if I work hard enough!"

"Then you'll have to start right away and never slack off if you want to be any good. I would suggest finding a good martial arts teacher. My brother-"

"Brother? You mean the other guy?" the kid asked as they continued down the hall.

Storm Shadow scowled. "Yes. He would probably suggest taking classes in gun handling."

"Can I, mom?"

"No," she said, trying to step around another body.

"But mooommm."

"Discuss it later, both of you be quiet," Storm Shadow ordered. He could hear the clang of swords. "Stay behind me and don't do anything, no matter what."

They came to a cross-section in the hallways. Storm Shadow motioned for both of them to stand against the wall. He peeked around it. Snake Eyes was surrounded by ninjas and fighting them off. Storm Shadow motioned to the two to stay there and be quiet. They both nodded. He pulled out both of his ninjato and ran around the corner, to join his brother.

"Awesome!" the boy whispered, peeking around the corner and watching them fight. Mrs. Penniford covered her eyes with her hand, shaking her head while she did so.

She gave a short shriek when she felt someone tugging on her arm. Storm Shadow scowled and motioned for them to follow. They continued going up further, until they got to the roof of the building where there was a helicopter waiting for them. Storm Shadow helped Mrs. Pennifold into it, while the boy jumped in on his own. The boy turned to ask his black-clad rescuer why he hadn't said anything at all, but they were both gone. He looked around, but another soldier ushered him into a seat.

The two ninja were back inside the building, on their way to finishing the second objective of the mission, locating and stealing files.

"You know, brother, there are just some days I love my job."

Snake Eyes snorted. *Encouraging potential Beachhead fodder?*.

"Maybe," Storm Shadow said, smirking.


	34. He Who Brings The Night

_October 6, 2013. Again, from Two Steps From Hell. I've decided the name of the new ninja clan is Kon (which is dark blue in Japanese) because I imagine them dressing in dark blue and am not terribly original._

* * *

"All right, they are running after Snake Eyes now, Kamakura. You are clear to go."

"I can't believe that actually worked. Cobra is desperate if they are hiring people this stupid."

"Count your blessings and hurry up. Storm Shadow is encountering Kon ninjas on the other side. Billy's already inside."

"Crap," Kamakura said, speeding up.

"Playing them against each other, Top?"

"Scarlett, would I really do that?"

"What are the odds and who are they in favor for?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Breaker popped a bubble. "Ace says it's two to one in favor of Billy.

Snake Eyes ran through the forest, using the trees to dodge bullets. He ran behind one amazingly large tree and waited for the Vipers to pass. He though Duke's plan was crazy. Didn't think anyone was stupid enough to run after him just because he waved a file folder as he ran past the front gate. Surprisingly, not only had the two guarding the gate come after him, but so did all the idiots standing guard at the two corner towers. He had ten guards following him through the forest playing find the ninja.

On the other side of the building, Storm Shadow disposed of another ninja. He knew this plan was completely stupid. No one in their right mind would come after him just because he ran past the gate waving a stupid folder in the air. This mission was insulting and made him angry and he took it out on the hapless guards and ninjas in his way. Why did Duke think Billy and Kamakura needed a distraction to get inside a building? Why would Duke send in the apprentices for a simple file grab and have the masters distract the guards? He couldn't help but think it was odd, in the back of his mind.

It occurred to him, as he killed the last Viper, that Duke had been acting odd lately. He was coming up with some off-the-wall plans, and seemed to be angry when they succeeded. Snake Eyes frowned. It was almost as if Duke wasn't really Duke. That couldn't be right though, Tommy would have been able to tell the difference. Still, something wasn't right. Snake Eyes decided to head back to check on the base team.

He arrived at the same time as Tommy. They nodded to each other and Snake Eyes opened the door. Storm Shadow heard the click of a gun and pushed Snake Eyes out of the way. He flung himself to the side of the door, grimacing as he looked at his arm. He wouldn't be using it much now.

Snake Eyes snapped his fingers. *Ok?*

*Fine, go.*

Snake Eyes nodded. He unsheathed his ninjato and stuck out in view of the still opened door. One or two shots pinged off it.

"Oh, yes, so very clever, boys. I know Storm Shadow can tell what happened to Scarlett and Breaker, but tell me, what is happening inside to your precious apprentices?" Zartan sneered.

Storm Shadow cursed and tried the com, but it was dead. Snake Eyes narrowed his eyes and stabbed his sword in the dirt. He pulled out a smoke bomb and threw it in. More shots went off and Zartan started coughing. Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes bumped into each other, in front of the door, one throwing shurikens and the other, firing his beloved Uzi. They didn't wait for the smoke to clear before going in, Snake Eyes securing Zartan and Storm Shadow over to where he heard two faint heartbeats. He gently moved Breaker out of the way, where he was slumped, and turned the com system back on.

"Billy, Kamakura, get out of there quickly. It's an ambush."

Zartan laughed.


	35. Magia

_October 11, 2013. For Neenja, since she was so very concerned about Billy. Italics are Japanese. It's been stewing in my head, but really didn't want to come out right away. Or maybe it was that it just didn't want to be written to the other three songs I had playing. 'Magia' is by Kalafina._

* * *

He was considering kicking Kamakura to wake him up, but Kamakura was already starting to wake up a little. One of the ninjas saw and walked over, kneeling down to look.

"_Filthy gaijin_," he spat, slamming his fist into Kamakura's jaw.

"_Enough_,_ Cobra Commander wants them as undamaged as possible,_" said another ninja.

Kamakura was awake and glared at the ninja. The ninja stood up and kicked at Billy before going back to the table with the other two ninjas. They went back to playing their card game.

Kamakura raised his eye at Billy. Billy shrugged. Kamakura moved to sit up, rubbing his jaw on his shoulder, while working on slipping out of his restraints. A few minutes later and he was free of them. He pulled his knees up to his chin and moved his hands between them. Billy was in a similar position.

*Weapons?* he signed at Billy.

*Obvious ones are on the table, whoever wins the card game gets first pick. I still have a few knives, a gun, and some shuriken.*

*Same. This clan is disgustingly sloppy.*

Billy snorted, turning it into a cough. The ninjas glared briefly at him. When their attention turned back to their game, Billy flipped them off, putting his hands behind his back again. Kamakura heard faint footsteps and followed suit.

The footsteps got louder and the ninjas at the table finally noticed them. They stood up, facing the doorway, and bowed when their master came in, followed by five more guards. He ignored their presence, going over to the two captured apprentices and kneeling down in front of Billy.

"Cobra Commander is beside himself at the thought of having a family reunion. As a reward, not only do we get paid in both money and weapons, we get to keep your sword brother as compensation for all of our brothers and sisters that the Arashikage have killed recently," he said, an ugly grin on his face.

"You'll have to give my _father_ my regrets. I'm not meeting him anytime soon."

"Yeah rig-"

Billy's metal foot to the master's head silenced him and both apprentices were on their feet before the guards could react, Billy grabbing the master and Kamakura throwing his last two shuriken and a knife at the three guards at the table. The guards fell to the ground, one hitting the table on the way, causing the cards and weapons to spill as the table fell. The remaining five guards stood still as Billy held their unconscious master hostage.

* * *

Snake Eyes paced in front of the chairs in the waiting room. The doors to surgery opened, and the nurses wheeling out Zartan, taking him to a secure room to recover from his wounds. Snake Eyes' fists balled up of their own accord. Lifeline and Doc were still working on Breaker and Scarlett. Snake Eyes resumed his pacing. A little later, Lifeline came out, the nurses behind him wheeling Breaker out to recovery.

"Breaker will make a full recovery," he held a hand up. "Don't ask about Scarlett yet, Doc is still working on her. I need to go back in and help him, but you know she was bad when Storm Shadow called for an evac."

Snake Eyes nodded, not happy that there wasn't any news on Scarlett, but glad that Breaker would be okay. Lifeline went back into surgery, leaving Snake Eyes to pace once more.

Tommy debriefed Hawk, explaining how both he and Snake Eyes figured out Zartan's deception. No one knew what had happened to the apprentices. Snake Eyes had gone back to look for them, but there was nothing but an empty building. Once he finished, he headed down to the infirmary, to check on how things were and to get the bullet out of his arm finally. He could have had it done earlier, by one of the nurses, but felt it better for them to concentrate on Breaker and Scarlett instead of worrying about something trivial. When he arrived, Lifeline met him at the door, tsking at him.

"Snake Eyes said you would be coming down, but really, there are more than enough nurses to take care of something like this."

"I prefer it be done by you or Doc, that way I don't have to argue so much. You already know what to expect."

Lifeline sighed. "Same as usual, no local, no painkillers, and you will be dodging me for daily checkups while it heals."

"Exactly."

Lifeline snorted while gathering the necessary tools to extract the bullet and deal with the wound. "Breaker will make a full recovery. Scarlett is still in critical condition; it will be touch and go for the next few days."

"Meaning you will have to deal with a restless and concerned ninja for the next few days."

Lifeline groaned.

* * *

A day later, Duke was found, stuffed in a rarely used closet. Two days after that, Scarlett was awake, the apprentices had returned, and pissy ninja masters were questioning Zartan. Billy and Kamakura were telling Jinx about their adventures with the other clan.

"Really, the supposed master was dressed up like those yakuza bosses you see on TV. Dress shirt, slacks, and coat thrown around him," Billy said.

Kamakura nodded. "They didn't even bother checking us thoroughly or restraining us all that well either. And the master got within kicking range of Billy. It's like they are just a bunch of yakuza playing ninja or something."

"Both Snake Eyes and Tommy say they are easy to fight. Just a little harder than the Crimson Guard," Jinx commented.

"You haven't had a chance to fight them yet?" asked Kamakura.

Jinx sighed. "No. They don't sound all that exciting to fight anyway. I don't think I'm missing anything."


	36. Clan of the Ninja Bunnies

_October 8, 2013. Inspired by twitter peeps. Kusari asked about what kind of Halloween costumes the Joes might wear. Willwrite4fics said someone should be a bunny. I know I already had Storm Shadow in bunny ears on Halloween once, but this just wouldn't leave me alone. I've seriously been trying to forget about it for the last few days and it still pops up randomly, warring with the ninja being ambushed bunny. Because this is what I want to think about when I'm trying to sleep..._

* * *

Cherry glanced nervously at Creek. "Are you sure about this?" she whispered, trying not to attract Scarlett's attention. She really didn't want to get whacked for not paying attention to the hand-to-hand lessons.

"Yes. I'm sure Sergeant Scarlett will be reasonable when we ask her."

"And you're sure about your part?"

"It's never failed before. I might have to be a little extreme with it. We _are_ talking about you-know-who."

"Is there something you'd like to share with everyone?"

Both girls jumped in surprise. "Sergeant! No, um, we would just like to talk to you after class, in private, please?" asked Cherry.

Scarlett narrowed her eyes, but nodded and moved on to correct someone else.

After class, Scarlett waved the girls over. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Can we talk somewhere else?" asked Creek. Scarlett raised an eyebrow. The girls looked over at Tommy.

"Is there something you feel you can't talk about in front of Storm Shadow or Snake Eyes?"

Cherry leaned in. "I don't think they want to hear about woman troubles," she whispered.

"Alright, let's go to my quarters and we'll talk," Scarlett said.

Snake Eyes watched the three walk out the dojo door. *What was that about?* he asked Tommy.

"Woman troubles, brother," Tommy said, grimacing while he put away the last practice weapon. Snake Eyes shuddered.

Scarlett sat on her bed, while Creek sat on Lady Jaye's and Cherry leaned against the closed door.

"I can't believe you did it, Cherry!"

"I know, won't he be surprised when he figures it out?"

"What are you two talking about?" Scarlett asked.

"Well you see, we want to take advantage of the Halloween bet Ace has," Cherry said.

"We were thinking if we could get all the ninjas to dress up, that would be an automatic win and that we could donate the money to a local charity. There is a school trying to gather money together for an area wide Halloween party for the kids. They want to be able to pay for costumes, pictures, food, prizes for contests, and for every kid to get a sizable trick or treat bag. Carsons told us about it and got Chilson and Calamity to help out, but since we both have shifts on Halloween, we thought we could contribute this way instead," explained Creek.

"We even have costumes for them. But, you know, I've talked to almost everyone and they all say none of them ever dress up for Halloween except for that brief stint last year with Creek's rabbit ears. We were hoping you would be able to talk Snake Eyes into wearing the costume and have him order Kamakura to wear it too. It won't interfere with his mask or anything," added Cherry.

"What makes you think I can make Snake Eyes do anything?" asked Scarlett. Both girls snorted. "Ok, you have a point. What are you going to do about Storm?"

"Puppy dog eyes and crocodile tears," said Creek.

"You seriously think that will work? Billy tries to pull the puppy dog look all the time. He doesn't get very far against Storm."

"That's what I keep saying," Cherry said, shaking her head.

"It's never failed!" squeaked Creek.

"Yeah, but this is Storm Shadow. Feared ninja master. Makes terrorists wet their pants. I don't think he is going to cave into puppy dog eyes," argued Cherry.

"If you can get Storm to do it, I'll get Snake to do it. What about Jinx? She isn't likely to do it just because Snake or Storm orders her to," Scarlett asked.

"She said she would if it was cute enough," answered Creek.

"That was the easy part," said Cherry. Creek nodded.

* * *

"Sergeant Storm!"

Tommy turned around, waiting for his greenshirt devotee to catch up to him. Ahead of him, Snake Eyes and Scarlett stopped and turned around. He heard Scarlett whispering to Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes crossed his arms. Cherry came up beside them, holding something behind her.

"I'm not holding your rabbit ears this year," Tommy said to Creek.

"I don't have ears this year. I'm dressing up as an M&M!"

"You are dressing up as a piece of candy?"

"Yes!"

"I want half the pot, then."

"I don't have half the pot to give to you, Sergeant Storm," Creek said, frowning.

"Then I'm not doing it."

"Please? Will you please dress up all day today and make Billy dress up too? We even have costumes made just for you," she asked, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"No."

She sniffed, letting tears well up in her eyes. "Please?"

"I'm not interested in dressing up. No."

She let two tears escape.

*Heartless,* Snake Eyes signed.

He sighed. "Damn it, fine. Where is this stupid costume?"

"Really?!" Creek squealed, hugging Tommy. She ran over to Snake Eyes and hugged him as well.

"Holy shit, I can't believe she got that to work. Snake Eyes, your costume," Cherry said, holding out a pair of black bunny ears and a puffy black tail. He sighed and took them, sticking the ears on his head and handing the tail to Scarlett. She went behind him and pinned the tail on, before patting him on the butt. Cherry handed Snake Eyes another set in green. "For Kamakura." She went over to Tommy and handed him a set in white. He scowled as he took them and then put them on. Scarlett snickered and whipped out a camera, taking a picture quickly. Cherry handed him a gray set for Billy. She turned to leave, to deliver Jinx's red bunny ears and tail.

"The dojo, the last week, you lied!" Tommy had a sour look on his face.

"Just practicing what you've been trying to teach me," Cherry grinned.

"Don't get cocky just because you did it once."


	37. Children

_October 11, 2013. Part one of another Halloween bunny, not involving bunny costumes! Obasan is aunt in Japanese._

* * *

The four of them were helping the hostages climb out of the odd room when a weird flash of light went off. Since it was a Cobra laboratory, they all figured it probably wasn't a good thing, but kept helping the others climb out. It started to become difficult, though, they had to stretch further to reach the hostages. They escorted the hostages through the maze of the base, Snake Eyes and Kamakura leading the way, while Billy and Storm Shadow guarded the rear.

The hostages shrank on the way, their clothes getting too big for them and causing them to trip up. The group had to stop several times to roll up sleeves and pant legs, some removing shoes. The ninja weapons grew heavy and unwieldy, but they refused to stop carrying them, and kept pushing the others to keep going, protecting them when they came across a group of Vipers. They finally made it out of the building, meeting up with the outside group, who were stunned and surprised to say the least.

Most of the hostages sat down on the pavement, crying when they saw the scary people with the big, scary guns. Stalker sighed, wondering what he had done to piss off whoever was upstairs this time. He motioned Dusty and Footloose over to help him calm them down and get them all loaded into the transport.

Once they were on their way, he turned to a now six-year-old Tommy and Snake Eyes. "What the hell happened in there?"

"We were helping them out of the room they were in and there was some kind of light and we started shrinking and I don't want to be six again!" Tommy whined.

*This blows. Stupid Cobra.*

"Hey, now we can have a childhood without Cobra, right, Sean?" Billy said, excited.

Kamakura frowned. "Don't call me that."

"Kam-Kam!"

"That's not my name!" Kamakura yelled, throwing his boot at Billy.

"Settle down!" Stalker ordered. "Jesus, would you two control your apprentices?"

Both Billy and Kamakura snorted. "They're the same age as we are; we don't have to do what they tell us!" Billy said.

Stalker sighed. "Look, you all behave and you can have a treat when we get back to the base."

"Liar! You're gonna make us go see Lifeline and Doc and they are going to poke us with needles!" Kamakura whined. The other children heard him and started whining and crying. Tommy stuffed his fingers in his ears, scowling at Kamakura.

* * *

"I'm hungry!" Billy complained.

"I'm thirsty!" Kamakura whined.

"Are we there yet?" *Are we there yet?* both Tommy and Snake Eyes asked at the same time.

Dusty swore they were just doing it to annoy him. The other children were quiet, mostly asleep, worn out from the day's adventure. "NO, for the last time, there is no more water, no food, and it will be another-" Dusty paused to look at his watch. "Another 20 minutes until we get there. Why don't you take a nap?"

"Naps are for baaabies," three of them chorused, while the fourth signed it. Dusty sighed. No wonder Stalker had given up and put him in charge. How the hell did ninja parents do this?

Twenty minutes later of whining and complaining from the kids, internal swearing, and near hair-tearing out on Dusty's end saw them finally at base. Hawk, Scarlett, Doc, and Lifeline were waiting for them, as well as some of the medical staff. Scarlett gasped when she saw Snake Eyes hop out of the transport, followed by Kamakura and Tommy. There was some snickering from some of the other Joes in the area and Tommy narrowed his eyes, throwing a few shuriken in their direction. He smiled in satisfaction when he heard the resulting, "Holy shit!" and "Son of a bitch!"

Snake Eyes snorted. *Will bite ankles and stab knees if I hear laughing.*

Hawk sighed. "Just don't. I don't need either of you getting hurt accidentally."

Snake Eyes snorted again. *Can still wipe the floor with them. We took out a squad of Vipers like this.*

"Brother is right. We haven't forgotten our skills just because we're like this. It's not like height or size has ever mattered before," Tommy warned.

"Let's go down to the infirmary and have a look at everyone and we will see what we can do about this," Doc said, already having delegated other staff to taking down the other children.

"But Stalker promised us a treat if we behaved!" Billy pouted.

"Lifeline has candy in his desk. I'll let you raid it when we are done," Doc bribed.

"Yay!"

"Candy!"

"Well, Billy and Kamakura seem to be enjoying their current state," Scarlett noted, watching them follow Doc. Beside her, Snake Eyes was brooding, arms crossed and staring off at nothing in particular. She couldn't help but smile. "You know, you are just too adorable, mini ninja," she said, patting him on the head.

He huffed. *Not cute! Not mini ninja!*

"Yes, I know, you're still a deadly ninja master," she said patronizingly. He glared at her for a moment, before stalking off angrily after the others.

* * *

"There you go Jinx, Tommy and Billy are all yours," Dusty said, relieved to finally be able to escape the two tiny ninja terrors.

"What? Why me?"

"Hopefully they will do what you tell them to, since you're their elder now."

"Jinx-obasan! Jinx-obasan!" Tommy chanted.

Jinx glared at him. "Behave, or I'll ship you straight to Obake-obaasan." Tommy shut up.

"I'd ask, but I really just want to get as far away as possible from them right now. Bye!" Dusty said, waving as he sped out the door.

"Who's looking after Snake Eyes and Kamakura?"

"Scarlett, who else has the patience to deal with Snake Eyes when he's in a foul mood?" Tommy answered.

"Halloween is coming up in a few days. Can we go trick or treating?" asked Billy

"You don't need all of that candy. Don't you know what all of that sugar does to you?" Tommy lectured.

"Shut up! Scarlett already said Kamakura and Snake Eyes could, so why can't I?"

Jinx sighed. "I'll think about it."

* * *

"So far all the tests have come back negative," Doc reported.

"So, we still don't have a clue what exactly happened?" Duke said as he perused the mission report.

Hawk shook his head. "Breaker and Mainframe are going over the files, but they need someone down with them that can understand all the medical jargon."

Doc polished his glasses on his shirt before putting them back on. "I'll send Lifeline down."

"Have you gotten a chance to talk to all the children, Psyche Out?" Hawk asked.

"Yes, including our elusive ninjas. They are even harder to find now that they are smaller." Beachhead snorted. "Those that were older seem to be retaining mostly adult personalities, although it's difficult to say for sure without having a baseline to compare to. The only ones I have been able to compare have been the ninjas and what I've observed seems to support that theory. Both Snake Eyes and Tommy are still mostly acting like adults. Both Billy and Kamakura seem to have reverted to six-year-old behavior for the most part."

"Six-year-old ninjas. You know the paperwork has tripled in the last few days? I've also never written 'meanie stupid head' on a report before yesterday either," complained Flint.

"Let's hope the data reveals something soon. Doc, make sure we have plenty of aspirin on hand, I have a feeling all of us will need it," Hawk said, sighing.


	38. Joe Trick or Treat

_October 16, 2013. Continued from 'Children'. I got some of the oomph to finish this while listening to 'Howling' by abingdon boys school. Kamakura dressing up as Cyclops is a shout out of sorts to Totenkinder Madchen's 'Press X to Hug Your Family'._

* * *

"Billy said you told Kamakura and Snake Eyes they could go trick or treating? How were you planning on doing that?" Jinx asked Scarlett.

"It was the only way I could get Kamakura to stop whining and go to sleep. Snake Eyes said he also wanted to go. Several of the others have said the other children also want to be able to trick or treat. I think I've figured out the trick or treating part, but I'm not sure what to do about costumes."

"Maybe you can ask the kids what they want to be and see if you can get volunteers who can sew to help make them costumes. Get the kids to help with the easy parts to give them something to do," suggested Lady Jaye.

"Hmm, that might be doable. I'll bring that up later at the meeting. How are the other children doing?"

"Scared and worried. Half of them cry whenever they hear Beachhead shout or even see him. I have a rotation of some of our calmer personnel supervising them, keeping them on a schedule of sorts, but it hasn't been easy. Some of them are determined to outdo some of Billy and Kamakura's pranks. Speaking of which, make sure you check your shampoo before you use it. I've heard some people have had theirs switched or colored. One of the greenshirts swore up and down he had a bottle of blood, not shampoo. Still not sure who came up with that one," said Lady Jaye.

"Well, if someone does it to me, I'll know it was a ninja. Snake Eyes follows me everywhere and refuses to sleep without me in the room. He's been in a bad mood ever since this happened and keeps picking fights with Tommy."

Lady Jaye and Jinx both looked at Scarlett with raised eyes. "Oh, god, no! He insists I sleep in the bed while he sleeps on the floor or in the chair. I keep telling him he should sleep in the bed and I can sleep on the floor, but he's being very stubborn. I can't say it isn't without its benefits though. He keeps Kamakura from running in and jumping on the bed while I'm trying to sleep."

"Tommy isn't helping. Keeps taunting Snake by saying you're his mommy," Jinx sighed. "He isn't in much of a better mood. He keeps complaining about not wanting to wait eight or nine years to get to the "good part" of life again."

"What's in seven or eight years? That would make him what? Fifteen?" asked Lady Jaye

"You'd think he has a girlfriend waiting for him somewhere or something, the way he whines about it," Jinx said. The three women thought about it for a moment, before shrugging it off.

"Anyway, if you can start getting a list of costumes from the kids, Jaye, I'll see what we can get approved and we can go from there on this Halloween thing," Scarlett said, standing up to leave.

"Sure thing, Scarlett."

* * *

Halloween arrived and everyone had gotten into the spirit of things. There had been a lot of help getting the costumes ready and some of the Joes who had the night off had set up an area for games and a haunted house of sorts. All of the Joes not working on that or walking the kids around had a bucket of candy they could hand out to any of the kids who came up to them and said trick or treat. Even Hawk, holed up in his office doing the never-ending paperwork had a large bucket of candy set on a chair near the door. The kids would knock on the door, say trick or treat and he would tell them to come in and take one piece of candy. Being the general, he of course got to give out the best candy, the full size candy bars that every child prizes on Halloween.

Tommy was boycotting it, of course, hiding only God knew where. Billy was dressed as Nightwing, running around at hyperactive speed, finding every Joe he could so he could get as much candy as possible. Kamakura had dressed up as Cyclops and hit up the major candy givers, but spent most of his time in the game area, getting candy prizes there.

Scarlett knocked on the door to Snake's room. He opened the door, letting her in, while he went to sit on the bed, holding his Spiderman mask and staring at it. "What's wrong Snake?"

He looked up at her. *I remember going trick or treating with my sister. We used to dress up with brother/sister costumes. Mom would take pictures every year and put it in a special album. She started it by dressing us as Raggedy Ann and Andy one year.*

"If you don't want to go, you don't have to," she said, sitting down on the bed next to Snake Eyes

He threw the mask on the floor. *I hate being like this.*

"It brings back too many memories?" Snake Eyes nodded. She pulled him to her chest and hugged him while he cried silent tears.

* * *

A solid week had gone by, including the mostly successful Halloween. The novelty of having ninja children (and children in general) running around was gone. When Billy and Kamakura weren't thinking up and pulling pranks, they were fighting, almost as much as their masters. Snake Eyes and Tommy had to be separated on a near daily basis, usually with the threat of being shipped to Obake-obaasan. There was good news, though, Lifeline and Doc had been able to figure out what had caused the reversal of age and were now ready to undo it. Snake Eyes was their first volunteer.

The procedure was pretty close to the same as before. He went into a specially built room and was exposed to the same weird light as before. The effect started immediately and a mere half-hour later, he was back to normal. The other children went through the same procedure and were successfully returned to their previous ages. Billy and Kamakura were reluctant to go in, but when they finally did, everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. Tommy was the last one to go in.

"Doc, can you control what age that thing stops at?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if you would shave a few years off. Leave me in my late twenties, you know, twenty-eight, twenty-nine. Somewhere in there." Doc frowned disapprovingly. "What? Why shouldn't I get some benefit out of this inconvenience?"


	39. Heart Attack

_October 17, 2013. Bunny inspired by Kusari. She came up with the interesting fact that Storm Shadow's name in Chinese means White Ghost. It is fitting, giving his occupation and color choice. She's afraid of ghosties and my thought was pretty much that she would have a heart attack and that she would be clinging to the ceiling, if he was real and ever met her (by popping up behind and scaring her, because honestly, he likes giving people pseudo heart attacks)._

* * *

She sighed, shifting in the chair again, the chain under the desk rattling as she did. Her eyes were tired from looking at the screen, trying to hack through G.I. Joe security. She had sent a message in one of her hacking attempts, but never got an answer and didn't have another chance to send out another message. Not since Cobra had started going through everything everyone typed. She was here with about ten other hackers, half of them kidnapped, like she was, the other half, on Cobra's payroll.

For some reason, they had all been hauled out, one by one, and now only she was left. She was praying fervently that being the last one wasn't a sign that something bad was going to happen. She heard the door behind her open, but kept her eyes on the screen and kept typing. That was the best way to avoid getting hurt as they had all learned the last few days. Keep working, don't look at anyone unless they talk to you, but pay attention immediately if they yanked on your chains. Even then, if you weren't fast enough or they thought you weren't working, you could count on getting hit. It still felt like she had the keyboard imprinted on her face from yesterday.

Whoever had come through the door was at her feet, undoing the lock. They stood up and went back to the door. She was confused, but kept working. The person returned and tapped her on the shoulder. She made an odd, strangled noise as she tried to keep from screaming, but didn't quite manage to keep it all in, ducking away from the person in fear.

Storm Shadow sighed loudly. Figures he would have to track down the last hacker. He'd much rather be fighting on the main level with everyone else. "We're leaving, so I suggest you stand up and follow me, unless you like working as a slave to Cobra."

She looked at him, staring wide-eyed.

"Yes, you heard that correctly. Now, do you mind, I'd like to get on with the show? Are you coming or staying?"

"L-l-lead the way."

She watched as the white-clad man opened the door and motioned her to follow him. She did, cautiously, not sure of what to expect, although she didn't mind seeing the guard dead on the floor. She kicked him as they passed by. Other than that, it was quiet, although, upon occasion, she could hear faint noises that sounded like fireworks going off. She started to wonder how he had even found her, all the way down here. The cells were two floors up and who knew where the other hackers were anyways. Her rescuer opened another door, slipping in and then grabbing her arm and pulling her into the stairwell. He started going up the stairs and she followed once more.

The noise got louder the farther they went up. When they were on the ground floor, he stopped at the door. "Stay here," he whispered. She nodded. It seemed like an eternity while she waited nervously, jumping at the slightest noise. She was looking down the stairs when someone tapped her shoulder again.

Storm Shadow watched as the hacker jumped at his touch, climbing halfway up the wall and babbling in a high-pitched voice. He thought he heard the word sorry, but it was hard to make out anything concrete, as fast as she was talking.

"Be quiet, woman!" he snapped, the pitch of her voice annoying him to no end. She shut up and he motioned for her to follow him again.

They passed through another corridor, littered with bodies. She noticed they all had slash marks and looked at the back of her rescuer. He had two sword thingies strapped to his back. She wondered if he did all of that, but then though it was impossible. There were at least ten bodies on the floor. He stopped suddenly and swore, pulling the swords out of their sheaths. She backed away from him as a squad of Vipers rounded the corner. They stopped in surprise, not expecting to see him there and he took the opportunity to launch himself at them. She crouched down on the floor, trying to make herself as small as possible and watching in horrified fascination as he decimated the enemy.

After the fight, he flicked the blood off his swords, sheathing them again. She stood up and gingerly walked around the bodies. It wasn't long before they reached the main door and she squinted at the bright light. He took her elbow and guided her out, avoiding the pockets of fighting still going on and getting her over to Lifeline. He left her there, joining his fellow Joes in battle.

They were getting ready to leave finally when he came up behind her. "You dr-" was all he managed to get out, before she jumped in her seat, managing a half turn before fainting. He called Lifeline over.

"What the hell did you do? You are supposed to rescue the hostage, not put her in cardiac arrest!" Lifeline yelled, starting CPR.

"How should I know? I was just trying to give her something she dropped!"


	40. School Dream

_October 24, 2013. Complete and total random wtfishness. I rarely remember dreams, but most of the ones I do remember seem to be related to whatever I'm into at the time. Right now, it's G.I Joe. How Mickey Mouse got in there is anyone's guess. He is the Kingdom Hearts version as that is my favorite version. Snake Eyes as Robocop is something I got from Kusari. I also seem to be watching too much anime that is set during high school as the school is based on my high school, but it did not (and probably still doesn't) have Japanese style doors. The ending makes no sense (hell half of it makes no sense. Why would Snake Eyes be looking for her, why was she dressing up as Billy? When did she meet Zartan and Storm Shadow? She must have, otherwise how would she have known who they were?) But it's a dream, so I guess I should be happy it made as much sense as it did. Maybe._

* * *

The Japanese style door slid open and the students looked to see who was disturbing the class. The teacher continued droning on. Robocop walked in, looking around for someone.

She swore under her breath and ducked down in her seat when she saw him. She thought furiously about how she could escape him. She remembered she had the wig and a different shirt in her bag that she had planned to use later for a practical joke. She quickly pulled them out and slipped the wig on first, adjusting it and tucking all of her hair underneath it. She tossed the shirt on over hers, hoping it wouldn't show much under the other. Robocop stayed for a few minutes more, before finally leaving, slamming the door shut behind him. She breathed a sigh of relief and straightened up in her chair.

When class was over, she left with the others, making a beeline for the bathrooms. Once in, she made minor adjustments to the wig, took off both shirts, put on just the green shirt, and applied some make up. She grinned when she was done, now looking like Billy. She stuffed everything else in her bag and left, headed to the next class. She walked outside, under one of the covered walkways, the sun shining beautifully and a slight breeze ruffling her short sleeves. She picked up her pace a little, rushing past Robocop, acting as if she was late for class. He stopped and turned around, following her.

She cursed and started running, weaving between other students and taking another walkway that headed back to the main building. She kept going through the building, only slowing down when she got to the administrative offices. She went through one of the hallways, bumping into the principal, Mickey Mouse. He frowned at her, concerned, and asked if there was anything wrong, but she shook her head and said she was just headed for the nurses' office. He nodded, told her he hoped she felt better and continued on his way. She started walking again, ducking when she saw Robocop, and finally making it to the safety of the nurses' office.

The head nurse delegated her to a room and told her someone would be in shortly. She sat down on the bed, leaning back against the wall, letting go of her bag and letting it slide to the ground. She closed her eyes for a few minutes while she waited. Eventually, he came in, introducing himself as Mainframe.

"So, what's going on? I've gotten lots of complaints today about sore throats."

"No, nothing really. I'm just trying to get away from Robocop."

"Robocop?"

"I swear, he's been chasing me and won't go away!"

"I see. Why is he chasing you?"

"I don't know!" she said, frustrated.

"Well, Billy, maybe he is chasing you down so Storm Shadow doesn't find you?"

She pulled off the wig, running her free hand through her hair. "I'm not Billy. I was going to pull a prank on his friend, but then Robocop showed up and I just got the feeling he was looking for me, so I threw on the wig and shirt."

Mainframe blinked a few times, before looking down at the floor, blushing slightly. "I-I-I'll go get a different nurse," he said, standing up and walking out of the door quickly.

She took off the Billy shirt and rummaged in her bag for hers, pulling it on and stuffing the wig and other shirt back in her bag. She tiptoed to the door and put her ear against it.

"Look, Scarlett, that girl is the one Snake Eyes is looking for. She said so herself."

"Great, so just keep her in there for now, Mainframe, I've got bigger problems to deal with right now. We've got to flush the Dreadnoks out of their classrooms without them or the kids suspecting anything. Zartan is around somewhere, too, I'm sure."

She cursed, locking the door. There was a knock on the second door and then it opened up, Zartan poking his head in.

"Word is you're wanted."

"Crap, is Robocop out there?"

"Robocop!" he started laughing. "That is a good one. No he's not. You want to escape this joint? Meet me in the parking lot in five."

She nodded and he left, leaving the door opened. There was a knock at the other door. "Miss?" Mainframe called, trying to turn the doorknob. She cursed and ran out the second door.

She made it to the parking lot out of breath and with a minute to spare. She had dodged Robocop a couple of times, and had somehow ended up dragging along a pig, given to her by one of the substitute teachers. The pig was currently grunting and sniffing along the ground. It reached the end of its leash and started straining towards some of the motorcycles parked on the far side. It was a strong little pig and she decided to just go with it, rather than fight it the entire way. Zartan was waiting for her there along with the substitute teachers.

"All right, let's blow this joint. Give the pig to Roadpig, there's a girl, and climb on the back of the bike here with me."

"Can we really boss?" asked Blowtorch.

"Of course not!"

"But it's full of Joes!"

"And Cobra Commander will have your head if you do. Those are his future subjects, blah, blah, blah."

"Stupid Commander, always ruining our fun!" Blowtorch muttered.

Zartan started up his motorcycle and revved it, waiting for the girl to hop on. She did quickly.

"Do you even know why you are doing this?" he asked her, taking off with loud roar of the engines.

She nodded against his back. She wanted to see Storm Shadow's deep brown eyes again.


	41. Akita

_October 24, 2013. A dual bunny that keeps kicking around. I say dual because its actually Kusari's bunny, born of the comment I had about finding out there was a breed of dog named the same as Junko's last name. I'm not sure if she's planning on drawing it, writing it, both, or just letting it go. Maybe it got put up for ninja target practice. *Shrugs.* Should also mention that this is based off CrystalofEllinon's future version of the Arashikage in 'Vendetta' because I like a future where Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow are in one big happy clan._

* * *

He snuck in and stuck the shivering, dirty, wet ball of fur on top of her head. She was awake instantly. "What the hell is this, Thomas?" she yelled, picking it up. The puppy whined and licked her nose.

"It's an Akita for an Akita!" he grinned and then shrugged. "Rescued from an owner who was trying to kill it because it's the runt of the pack. I told him either he could give it to me or I would kill him the same way."

"Ugh, it stinks," she said, holding it away from her. The puppy whined some more and licked its nose.

"You'd stink too if you'd been dunked in the sewer," he said, peeling off his shirt and tossing it in the laundry. He headed into the bathroom to take a shower.

"Ugh, Tomisaburo, that is not funny. Take it with you and clean it off."

"I'm not sharing my shower with the furball! I've done my good deed for the day," he shouted back, sliding the door shut before she could get up and force the puppy back into his hands.

She sighed and threw the covers off, sitting up and looking down at the puppy. "Let's go get you cleaned up and fed, little one," she said, standing up and taking the puppy into the kitchen.

She ended up borrowing one of the student's shampoo and dryer to get the puppy cleaned up. He behaved well, only trying to squirm away when she got near his face with water. She ended up feeding him some leftover cooked ground pork, and now he laid curled up in her lap, sleeping off the large meal. She tapped her finger on the table, thinking about how mad Thomas was going to be. She smiled. He wasn't going to like the puppy's name one bit. Speaking of the devil, she thought as he came walking into the kitchen, shirtless, but with a towel around his neck.

"Here you are," he said, walking over to her. He looked down at the much cleaner, puffier, and better smelling pile of fur. "I wasn't sure it was going to be white or some off-color. It was hard to tell underneath all that dirt. What did you use to clean him? It smells like fruit."

"Since someone hooogged the bathroom, I had to borrow some shampoo. Some sort of pear/herb combination, I think. Little Tomisaburo will make a fine addition to the clan."

"What?! You are not naming that furball after me."

"No, of course not. I named it after your father."

"Goddamn it, Junko, I'm not sharing names with it."

"It's a perfect name for it. It's white, has superb hearing, and will grow into a handsome dog, won't you, Tomisaburo?" she said, pitching her voice higher as she talked down to the puppy. The puppy grunted and curled itself into a tighter ball.

* * *

Nearly five months later, Tomisaburo was at the half-grown stage of puppydom. He followed Junko around loyally, watching her teach students from the sidelines, and obeying her every word. He never chewed on her stuff, peed on anything of hers, or destroyed her things. He got along with all the students and apprentices and even mostly got along with Timber when he came around.

It was only with his namesake that he didn't get along with. Only Tommy had to deal with chewed up hilts, nun chucks, and shoes. Only Tommy had to make sure nothing of his was left on the floor for the dog to pee on. He'd had more arrows turned into matchsticks than he could count. When they had first gotten him, they had let him sleep on the bed with them. The dog constantly nuzzled up against Junko's face. As the damned furball got older, he started trying to push Tommy out of the bed. He managed to do it once and that was when Tommy put his foot down and said the dog had to sleep somewhere else.

Junko just thought it was adorable, that the puppy was trying to compete with Tommy for her attention. Whenever he got upset about it she would pat the dog, tell him he was a good boy, and tell Tommy to grow up, that it was only a dog and it didn't know any better. Today, though, today was the last straw. He stomped out of the room, slamming doors as he went. Students scrambled out of his way, pressing themselves against the walls and praying that whatever had pissed off the Phoenix Master wasn't them or anywhere near them. He stopped outside, between the dog and Junko, and waited for her to finish the class. The furball growled at him and he growled back.

Junko sighed, motioning one of the advanced students to come up and take over. She walked over to her husband. "What is it now, Thomas?" she asked, interrupting the growling contest.

"Look at what your damned furball did! My favorite bow! Now it's nothing more than kindling, thanks to him!"

"You know better than to leave stuff where he can get to it," she said disapprovingly.

"IT was hanging high up on the wall! Perfectly out-of-the-way, thank you very much," he hissed. Tomisaburo's growling got louder.

"What do you want me to do about it? He's just a puppy, Thomas."

"He only seems to have this problem with me, the ungrateful mutt. I don't see anyone else complaining about puppy vandalism. Teach him to stay away from my stuff!" Tommy shouted, throwing the ruined bow to the ground and stomping off.

Tomisaburo stood up to chase Tommy. Junko sighed and grabbed the scruff of his neck, pushing his nose to the ground where the bow was. "Bad puppy!"


	42. Shopping With The Enemy

_November 2, 2013. This literally just came out of nowhere and wandered. Meandered. I was trying to think up of something to feature Calamity in, since I haven't really used him much or given him his own story, quite like I have the rest of the greenshirts. I know I said before I wasn't going to pair Storm Shadow with Creek or Cherry. It's kind of up in the air now. Maybe, sort of, I don't really know. Definitely not with Creek, you can see where I'm headed with that. And obviously, I like people being paired off, so Carsons is with Ace, because. Just because._

* * *

"You know, that shirt would go great with those pants over there," Carsons said, pointing to a pair on display on the wall. She was shoved roughly by one of the Baroness' guards; Iron Grenadiers on loan from Destro.

"Carsons, the hell?" asked Cherry.

Carsons shrugged. "I used to work at a high-end clothing store when I was in high school. Might as well do something useful while we wait for her to finish shopping and take us wherever."

"Silence," the Baroness commanded. The store clerk brought some more clothing for her to try on. She pointed to the pair of pants Carsons had mentioned. "_Get me a pair of those!_" The clerk nodded and took off.

"How did we end up like this again?" Creek whispered.

Cherry sighed. "Carsons' fault."

"Come on! It was the opportunity of a lifetime! How often are we going to be in Paris, near the best stores, with eight hours of down time? I didn't hear you complaining when you saw that jewelry store, Cherry."

"Okay, maybe it isn't your fault. Who knew we would run into the Baroness? Who knew she was even in the area?"

Creek fidgeted, receiving a poke in the back from another guard. "Next time you decide to go shopping, don't drag me along," she whispered. The other two girls rolled their eyes.

"You need to get out more," Cherry scowled. "You spend anymore time at the computer and people are going to start thinking you are married to it."

"You need a new outfit. You have another date with Chilson, right? You can't wear the same outfit again!" Carsons shook her head.

"It's not really a date," mumbled Creek.

"Poppycock. I know Chilson thinks it is," Carsons said. "You can't seriously be waiting for Storm Shadow. You're not even on a first name basis with him, for crying out loud."

"But-"

"No, don't wait for him. Stop letting him take advantage of your infatuation with him!" Cherry said, still scowling.

The Baroness had almost told them to shut up again, but now she wanted to know more. "You have a crush on Storm Shadow? You poor thing." Creek frowned at her.

"Yes, she does. And he knows it! Constantly asks for her to fetch things for him or do favors for him."

"Cherry!"

Baroness hmmmed as she held up a shirt.

"Oh, no, not with that skirt. That's last season," Carsons commented. She walked over to the pile of clothing and started going through it. The guard followed closely. She glared at him and he backed off when the Baroness waved him back. Carsons pulled out two skirts, looking over them and the Baroness. She handed one to her. "Try it with that one."

"What? Are you going to spend the rest of your life waiting for him? Especially when it's obvious he doesn't return your feelings? You should at least give Chilson a chance!" Cherry argued.

The Baroness held the skirt and shirt up in the mirror. "You know, she's right. You really should move on if he isn't expressing interest."

"Rumor in the motorpool is that he's chasing after someone else anyway," Carsons said, holding up a dress. "What do you think, Cherry? With those diamond earrings and that belt we saw at the other store?"

"It's a little long for you."

Carsons glared. "Not for me," she said, glancing at the Baroness.

Cherry raised an eyebrow. "Hmm," she thought for a moment. "Yes, I think that would work."

"What is the rumor floating about?" the Baroness asked casually.

"Yeah, Carsons, what misinformation is going around the motorpool this time?" Creek squeaked. The Baroness raised an eyebrow at her in question.

"It's not really all that interesting," she temporized. The store clerk came back again, with more clothing. Carsons took some of it and handed some back, instructing him to bring back different colors.

"Well?" Creek asked, voice pitched higher.

Carsons winced. "Rumor in the motorpool is that he's interested in one of his students."

The two greenshirts blinked, confused. "That could be any of the female greenshirts," Creek squeaked again.

"No, he doesn't consider the Joes in hand-to-hand to be students." Cherry blinked rapidly, very confused. "Are you saying he's chasing Billy? ...Or Kamakura?"

The Baroness snorted. "Of course not. The man is most definitely into women." The other three women glared at her. She smiled wickedly, picking up another dress.

"He doesn't have any female students," Cherry insisted. Carsons and Creek stared at her.

"You're kidding me right?" Carsons asked.

Creek burst into tears. "You! You are the only female student!"

Cherry laughed. "Student, yeah right. I'm just so far behind in hand-to-hand, I need extra lessons. That doesn't make me his student. Quit crying, Creek!" she said, hugging the other woman.

"You really are clueless, aren't you? Didn't you say Snake Eyes was teaching you more lately?"

"So? How does Snake Eyes teaching me make a silly rumor true? You can't believe all the gossip that goes on, otherwise, I'd have to believe you and Ace were going on a date next week, Carsons. I know that isn't true."

The Baroness snorted.

Creek coughed. "Actually, they've been going out for a couple weeks now."

"What?!"

* * *

"Ah can't believe they're shoppin' with the Baroness."

"Yeeeah, I'd say the plan went a little too well, Beachhead. When do we go in?" asked Dusty.

"Soon as the spook gives the signal." A bloody shuriken shattered the store's glass window.

"That signal?"

Beachhead growled and stormed into the store, Dusty and several greenshirts trailing behind.


	43. Bravery or Stupidity?

_November 4, 2013. A piece for Calamity. It's been stewing for the last few days in the back of my mind. It also has spawned the seeds of another bunny, but we shall see where that goes. The song is 'Ppr:Kut' by LinkinPark._

* * *

He was bored. It was his day off, but the girls were on some mission or something in Europe and Chilson was on guard duty for the day. There wasn't anyone to scheme with, well, not anyone he wanted to scheme or get into trouble with. He decided he would go to the gym.

It was still early in the day, so when he got there, there was no one else. He sighed. He didn't really want to spend the day by himself, but it seemed to be going that way. He popped in some ear buds and jacked the music up loud before laying down on one of the benches and starting his workout.

'The suuuunnnnn goes doooownnnn'. Tommy twitched. He was ready to kill whatever idiot was in the gym blasting that god-awful noise. He tried tuning it out, taking a deep breathe before starting another kata. It blasted again, seeming to be even louder. He gritted his teeth and gave up, walking out of the dojo.

Calamity was minding his own business, head bobbing to the music, concentrating on counting reps. The tap on his foot surprised the hell out of him, and he dropped one of the dumbbells. The foot tapper caught it before it landed on his chest. He scowled at the dumbbell, the hand holding it, and then realized _who_ was holding it. His heart started racing. He sat up, setting the other dumbbell down and pulling out the ear buds. "There something wrong?"

Tommy winced as the music got even louder. "I can hear that next door. Mind turning it down?"

"I mind. There wasn't anyone else in this room. Not my fault you've got sensitive ears."

Tommy glared at the little greenshirt punk, wishing very much to use him as target practice. "Why don't you spar with me? Winner gets what they want." He was rewarded by the sound of the greenshirt's heartbeat jumping up further.

"That's... not exactly fair."

Tommy shrugged, clearly not caring.

"How about I agree to turn down the music if you get me a date or something with Jinx?"

Tommy laughed. "Deal, I'd love to see what new way you come up with to get her to kill you."

Calamity scowled. "Not like it was on purpose. Third time's gotta be the charm."

"Whatever, just turn the music down already, and I'll see what I can do. Just remember, I'm not responsible for anything that happens," Tommy said, chuckling while he left the gym.


	44. Sniper Date

_November 5, 2013. The seed bunny from the last Bit grew with a bit of force-feeding. Sort of why there are so many breaks though. Sorry._

* * *

"Why am I volunteering for this again, Tommy?"

"Because I'm your cousin and I asked nicely?"

"I don't think that's really a good enough reason. It's just going to end in-"

"Calamity?" Tommy finished for her, earning a scowl and a kick towards the knees that he easily dodged.

"You're a real pain sometimes."

"But you love me, admit it." She rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head as she did so. It just made his grin get bigger.

* * *

"Jinx will be guarding you on while you are on your perch. I consider this my part of our deal."

"Son-of-a-" He jumped, startled, and swore in his head at Sergeant Whitey. His voice had been right behind him. He looked around, but when he found Storm Shadow, he was already almost to the plane. He rushed to catch up. "I thought the deal was a date? What the hell is this?"

"Your exact words were a date or something and since this isn't the dating game, I went with something. It's an opportunity, take it or leave it."

"Guard me?" he groaned. "You might as well leave me for the wolves."

"Regardless of what she thinks of you, you're still part of the Joes. She will guard you with her life."

"But-" he shut up as Jinx boarded the plane.

* * *

"I'm sorry about this. I know you'd rather be down there fighting and not up here," he said, lining up a target. It went down before he could shoot and he frowned before quickly picking another target. Lowlight was beating him again.

"It's not a big deal."

"I, uh, also want to apologize for those other two things."

She scowled, not that he could see it. "Really, it's fine."

He pulled the trigger, watching the Viper fall in his scope before picking another. "Still, I'd like to make it up to you. How about dinner in town sometime?"

Her lip curled up in distaste. "You don't have to make it up. We have incoming," she said quickly, grateful for the distraction.

"Roger," he said. He looked back at her, but there was no one there. He twitched, looking back into the scope to pick out another target. It wasn't long before he heard gunfire nearby. He swallowed and wiped his palm on his shoulder before looking for yet another Viper to shoot. He nearly came unglued when she touched him, reaching for his sidearm, before realizing who it was.

She rolled her eyes at him. "We need to fall back to the secondary position."

He nodded, following her in a low crouch.


End file.
